we create not to perish

one cannot disguise the sorrows for too long

the carnivorous music
the misty paintings
the squizofrenic dance
the screaming movies
the screaming words 

I am the dried earth of the past
I starve for water to fill the rugosities in my skin
I will rule upon thirst
I will be the victor of no man's land
not even my own
So give me all the horizons and erase all the borderlines.

Once the fakeness becomes hypernormal, only a rare number can see objectively through it and not get swallowed by it, though the cost is quite a harsh one to pay.

signed: the not aligning.

Can you imagine a hell that is white? And what about a paradise that is black?
I wish for the pure colours, as the bright blue of the Adriatic sea, the white of the Blue Lagoon's minerals mud, the black licensed by artist Anish Kapoor, the red of the heart, the yellow of the sunflowers, the green of a four-leaf clover, the orange of Sicilian mandarines, the light grey misty fogs of Ericeira, the silver of lightnings, the midnight blue of Summer nights.

Ladakh

Rest your head leaning on the big mountain
and dip your feet in the water
Come and see the reflections in your eyes
as our smile reaches the skies.

You are going to get it now
because it's paradise on earth
and there is no shadow of doubt

I think I'm finally going to die
and it seems quite a proper time
for it has been shown to me
that there's no hope
for a happiness that's true.

Thank you and goodbye.

What I regret the most, in general, is to have always put others much more first than myself.
I should have been there more for me, even when it meant not to care for others.
I loved too much for what I was loved and cared for.
But, as it is a no-refund, no-return trip, I'll just have to settle with what I got, which was a lot and could've been a lot worse. Finding true love is rare and at least I got to experience it and know what being happy felt like.

People don't like because when they look at me they see their faults and no one likes to have that weight on their consciousness.
I am the mirror of what they've done. I know them too well and they can't hide or trick me like they do with themselves with masks. I am their blame and they get regretful, and we all know how no one likes to admit their blame or least their regret as it is too corrosive to feel it. So everyone's just looking to escape and so they vanish faraway from me, but they should know to never return.

(+-2014)

What's the next step when you got no shot at fulfilling happiness and you're too tired of pretending?

Missing someone who left you is like feeling a punch in the stomach.

"Smart, healthy, good looking"...
British education and witty humour, and German organization, and Norsemen courage and European-Eastern strategic mind, and Australian love for Nature, and Italian's good looking style, and French savoir faire, and Portuguese adaptability and depth of poetic profoundness, and Hawaiian ocean love and reverence, and Spanish passion, and Japanese care and attention for details, and Chinese capability of work.

The rare, the unique, the utmost beautiful is what the true artist seeks to be inspired and fulfilled - the artist searches for inspiration and fulfillment. 

We were an item, 
then somebody put a code bar on us 
and we were sold in the supermarket.

In the darkest hours, people who love are there to light your way back to love and rekindle the true love and happiness in your heart.

They said I felt too much...
That I cared too much...
And then they managed to make me feel destroyed inside
without being able to feel good things
as they left me dry they just left me with a nice tormented nihilism 
and slowly dripping agony.

Social networks are now worse than grandmas gossiping. It actually became more like grandpas deciding, arguing, on who's won the war and their heirs waiting to see when they'll die, and inlaws just envying and making intrigues.