Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Saturday, 27 December 2014

Nobody's wife, or husband, or daughter, or mother, or sister, or brother, or father, or friend, for I don't belong to anyone, only to the wind, and to the sky, and to the river.

Saturday, 13 December 2014


As high as the eyes can see, as high as the mind can go, all the beauty in its facets and then achieving the peaceful blankness.

Monday, 8 December 2014

there's no other long, profound and devastated sadness like the one of a deep and true love that exists between two people that cannot be together.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

A kiss seems as powerful as a hydrogen bomb when it comes to make the world disappear in one second.  
I guess I'm way too much of a rebel for I don't even fit under the counter-culture label.
In this busy and frantic society the science of nothing has become the most complex of things.

Friday, 21 November 2014

Thursday, 20 November 2014

:D If god wanted us to depend on one person for our whole life it would have made us all siamese... :D

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Guys with mommy issues are preferable to the ones with daddy issues: they're a lot nicer, where instead guys with daddy issues treat girls like crap. [maybe because that was the role model they had...]

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Looking for a spaceship :D

With all I've been through, all the experiences from the past, I've become too rich and too complex for this tridimensional world...

Sunday, 16 November 2014

When you're so creative that even when you're suffering with a cold virus for more than a week you make you make Rorschasch drawings with your snot when you blow your nose... :)

Thursday, 13 November 2014

I've seen it all: bad and good, awful and wonderful. And everything always becomes nothing, and insufficient, when you know the unavoidable death.

Monday, 10 November 2014

There are no brave people; everyone shudders facing their own fears and flaws.

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

We're all sad clowns, but some of us don't need to wear the mask. 

Monday, 27 October 2014

Some things are awfully hard saying them out loud, because of the impact of the violence of the words.
But once spoken, like ghosts that were once haunting us, they flee to the light and make us lighter.
Newsflash - Man has officialy become God: creates living things, ressucitates dead things, makes blind see and paralytic walk.
I wish I was a stand-down comedian: never engage the enemy.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

the problem of being a joker is that everyone else in the deck doesn't understand my dark humour and sets me aside :/ :D

Thursday, 23 October 2014

It turns out I'm not an open book anymore,
for I've got secret tales of dread and wonder,
and I have seen, known and felt,
all too much.

Too many names, too many stories, too many books.















If I fall
may it be on a white lilies field
may I lay my body like a wilted daffodil in the green meadow of eternal youth

and on its verge I will succumb
and on its dew I will slip

[Photo by Emir Ozsahin]
It's not that I'm lost and confused... I'm just undefined and it's okay.

Saturday, 18 October 2014

On Judgement


Yes, I do judge people for their wrong actions, because I expect them to try to do and be better. Without judging, people wouldn't know since a very early age to distinguish right from wrong, namely what they're doing wrong and what they're doing right. 
I've realized that people who tend to accuse others from judging as being an evil thing, are normally the people who believe that everything is okay and that no one has anything to do with what other people want to do. Well, newsflash my dears, people's actions affect others and that's where the problem is. 
I'm even not someone who is for this system of organization of society that we currently have (or any other, for that matter), but we're unequivocally in one where there is a society and therefore everyone's in it.

Judging is one of the brain's activity that makes us develop as humans. Our brain is no longer binary, seing everything in black or white, or just as wrong or right. As we are able to see all the colours of right and wrong and know that something's include both, we necessarily do so because we learned from our pairs who always been judging us and that made us better people. And do not confuse judgement with prejudice and discrimination, please.

In short, I judge because I care, not only for the people I judge but for everyone else who is affected by their actions.


Throughout History, we've heard about the concept and notion of a Judgement's Day. This would be  linked with the Apocalypse and the end of days, when someone dies and goes to a kind of purgatory to be judged for their activity when alive. Well, for me, this notion of Judgement's Day was actually the day that you die and have a flashback of all your life so you know what you did right and what you did wrong and that comes to your mind in the last moments before your death. As you see, again I'm all for self-conscience and the awareness that there are actions (most of them) of ours, that affect others and that we should take and admit responsibility for them. Is that so evil and mangy of me? 

Yes, I do judge and I will always judge, unless I stop caring about people in general. And I know deep inside people do know they're not doing their best and many people, I believe, would want someone to tell them, to warn them about how poorly they made others feel their actions, so that they won't do them again, because they want to be better persons too. At least that's what I have to believe, instead of losing all faith on mankind.

Remembering of people who judge and criticise me, even when they were wrong, I always learned something and grown to be better as a human being every time. So I'm thankful for them. Even those who were a bit rude and unpleasant with their tact, they made me stronger and more aware of things about me and people surrounding me. As you see, judging can be a public service of some sort. Everything is what we make of it in our minds, the lessons we take of what happens, and if we make that a thoughtful activity we might just get to that my judgement day much better than we thought we ever could. That's what I hope so for everyone.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014


How sad is Mankind, for it is in its nature to expect and therefore get disappointed, as there are no solutions and it's all irreversible just like Time itself...

Monday, 6 October 2014

Watermelon memories and vanilla skies
everyone has a galaxy in their eyes

You can hide yourself
you can disguise your inner self
for everyone has a mistery...


Nothing like the smell of disappointment early in the morning... It makes you wake up for another brand new day full of possibilities.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

I lost my pulse
My heart now only beats inside you.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Dear who-ever-cares, I've done my best fighting this all everyday but it seems that Addison's is winning, and god-knows-about-how ITP is at my current state. Anyway, just to say that it's okay, it's more than okay, if I finally have a wholesome peace. I hope you can be in peace too :)

Thursday, 28 August 2014

“Man was born for society. However little He may be attached to the World, He never can wholly forget it, or bear to be wholly forgotten by it. Disgusted at the guilt or absurdity of Mankind, the Misanthrope flies from it: He resolves to become an Hermit, and buries himself in the Cavern of some gloomy Rock. While Hate inflames his bosom, possibly He may feel contented with his situation: But when his passions begin to cool; when Time has mellowed his sorrows, and healed those wounds which He bore with him to his solitude, think you that Content becomes his Companion? Ah! no, Rosario. No longer sustained by the violence of his passions, He feels all the monotony of his way of living, and his heart becomes the prey of Ennui and weariness. He looks round, and finds himself alone in the Universe: The love of society revives in his bosom, and He pants to return to that world which He has abandoned. Nature loses all her charms in his eyes: No one is near him to point out her beauties, or share in his admiration of her excellence and variety. Propped upon the fragment of some Rock, He gazes upon the tumbling waterfall with a vacant eye, He views without emotion the glory of the setting Sun. Slowly He returns to his Cell at Evening, for no one there is anxious for his arrival; He has no comfort in his solitary unsavoury meal: He throws himself upon his couch of Moss despondent and dissatisfied, and wakes only to pass a day as joyless, as monotonous as the former.” 
― Matthew Gregory LewisThe Monk

again and again and again, it's just one broken heart...

... sometimes the heart gets blown away like with a nuclear bomb, sometimes it's crushed like with a pestle and mortar to season someone else's life...
Don't mind me, just let me be
My eyes so far away
I don't need no sympathy
The word gets overplayed
I'm alright, it's just tonight
I can't play the part
I'm alright, it's alright
It's just one broken heart
Don't have eyes for the world outside
They're closed and turned within
Trying to find the light inside
It's lit, but growing dim
I'm alright, it's just tonight
I can't play the part
I'm alright, it's alright
It's just one broken heart.

Read more: Eddie Vedder - Broken Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Things people do that can make lose respect for them:

- Gratuitous evil actions and violence towards others;
- Saying something and doing the opposite next;
- Not being strong enough for someone who needs it;
- Not trying to get better and be better every day;
- Hiding things and lying to people only for fear;
- Not being honest with themselves and others;
- Not standing up for those who need them;
- Unloading on others without them deserving and not apologizing;
- Not truly repenting and doing what's necessary to re-gain people's trust;
- Not fighting disease and/or addictions in order to stop hurting others;
- Not helping people who clearly need their help;
- Not caring about anyone and expect others to care for them.


Things people do that can make gain respect for them:

- Having been through hardship and not giving up;
- Having been in dire straits and not unloading cruely on others;
- Having been through bad things and still be a good person;
- Having been through bad things and still have a pure heart and being generous;
- Doing things for others without publiciting or expecting retribution;
- If they can't do better at least admit it and be honest about who they are;
- Sacrificing themselves in order to help others, putting themselves in other's shoes;
- Being there, and sometimes dropping everything, when someone is in need of you;
- Dealing with people that no one else cares about;
- Listening to people and talking to them even if it's hard;
- Giving up the self in order to be there for the other;
- Showing others who they truly are and how they honestly feel;
- Treating others with basic respect (about their differences, opinions, efforts), courtesy and kindness;
- Keeping promises, like doing what they said they'd do.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

"O Captain! My Captain!" BY WALT WHITMAN

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Valentine from "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act III), by William Shakespeare

“To die, is to be banish'd from myself;
And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her,
Is self from self: a deadly banishment!
What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by? 
Unless it be to think that she is by,
And feed upon the shadow of perfection.
Except I be by Silvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon;
She is my essence, and I leave to be,
If I be not by her fair influence
Foster'd, illumin'd, cherish'd, kept alive.”

Sunday, 10 August 2014

Abandonement


There's such beauty in abandoned buildings sometimes... just like there's in abandoned people, I guess... But then again "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"...
(on the way back from Caldas)

Sunday, 3 August 2014

"All for Love"

"O TALK not to me of a name great in story;
The days of our youth are the days of our glory;
And the myrtle and ivy of sweet two-and-twenty
Are worth all your laurels, though ever so plenty.
What are garlands and crowns to the brow that is wrinkled?
’Tis but as a dead flower with May-dew besprinkled:
Then away with all such from the head that is hoary
What care I for the wreaths that can only give glory?
Oh Fame!—if I e’er took delight in thy praises,
’Twas less for the sake of thy high-sounding phrases,
Than to see the bright eyes of the dear one discover
She thought that I was not unworthy to love her.
There chiefly I sought thee, there only I found thee;
Her glance was the best of the rays that surround thee;
When it sparkled o’er aught that was bright in my story,
I knew it was love, and I felt it was glory."

George Gordon, Lord Byron (1788–1824)

Sunday, 27 July 2014

P.S.: In that moment when your whole life flashes in front of your eyes don't forget to let go.

Valar Morghulis

Why couldn't I keep holding her? Because I knew that like everyone else she would eventually have to go.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Bob Marley

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 
― Bob Marley

Thursday, 17 July 2014

The utterly stupidity of Men: War

We're supposed to be the most intelligent species on the planet and what do we do? We annihilate our own bloody selves!
The desolation of drought on Earth isn't comparable with the sum of disappointment in one's inner landscape, because the first is still craving for something and the second just isn't able to crave anymore.

The masterful epigrams and others, by Oscar Wilde

  • Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
    • The Canterville Ghost (1887).
    • Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.

  • Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Ian Curtis

I walked out and thought for a time I could see no defense, and I thought for a while you were me, we were wrong, in our time, always down, out of line.
I relaxed from the days filled with bloodsport in vain, and returned with the knowledge that we’re two the same, two in Hell, two set free, too alike, you to me.
And we watched everything pass us by in due course, always tied by a mutual feeling that lost, we were two, two in hell, two set free, known too well.
In the back of my mind, all I feel is mistrust, in the back of my mind, all I see is the dirt, segregation of thoughts, ideals turning to dust.
Where some houses once stood, stands a man with a gun, in some neighbourhood, a father hangs up his son, in the back of my mind.
Don’t think I’d have stayed just for one more day, it seems so much like home, no room to go astray, don’t think I could watch – with mindless, empty tasks, intake moving in, forced to walk a lonely path.
Pictures all around, of how good a life should be, a model for the rest, that bred insecurity, I walked a jagged line and then came back for more, it’s always in my mind, an institution with no law.
I can see a thousand wills just bending in the night. And all the pretty faces painted grey to match the sky, from a distance seeing friends just washed up on the shore, a picture in my mind of what’s to come before the storm.
In time, we don’t belong in our own lifetime.
I can hear the voices lost in echoes as they build, new homes to hide the sadness that the search for more had killed, from a by road seeing friends just washed up on the shore. Picture in my mind of what’s to come before the storm.
In time, we don’t belong in our own lifetime.
I can feel an emptiness and see heads held in shame, trapped inside a legacy of everyone to blame. In the distance see myself just washed up on the shore, a picture in my mind of what will come before the storm.
In time, we don’t belong to our own lifetime.
We won’t crawl and never show our faces, we’ll stand firm and never show the traces, of the fear we knew but always could disguise, of this sinking feeling hid behind our eyes.
Nothing seems real anymore. Even the flames from the fire seem to beckon to me, drawing me into some great past life buried somewhere deep in my subconscious, if only I could find the key..if only..if only. Ever since my illness, my condition, I’ve been trying to find some logical way of passing my time, of justifying a means to an end.
He desires love, in some special way against all perversion, fed with fruits of decay. He remembers, how the guilty have seen, all the pure but selfish, buried deep in his dreams.
He sees a vision in the sky, looking down on him, calling him by name, yeah he sees faces from yesterday, of what might have been, but the past must still remain.
He desires love, not some perfect affair, in hotels of steel and glass, just to cross on the stairs, but he can still see, all the angels in time, as his dreams of ecstasy, turned to nightmares of crime.
He sees a vision in the sky, looking down at him, how the past will remain, yeah he sees a vision in the sky, staring down at him, he’ll always see the same.
Sure I’ll see you down, you do for me I did for you, cure just takes you down, we’re down for good that’s understood.
Door slides open, Johnny laughs. A view from above sticks his head out of the window and dries his eyes. I remember a winter sometime ago, angular patterns formed deep in the ground, where someone once stood. White on black, white on white. Echoed voices bouncing off the buildings around. 
A ramp to the trees and trees all around, I remember a tear, frozen white on white, I remember nothing. A grey saloon, Johnny sighs, winds down the window and stares at the road. 
Some things never make sense, crouches shivering in the corner, blanket ‘round your shoulder, hot then cold, cold then warm, pulse is racing, slowly racing – stopped. I remember nights listening to untill dawn, I remember nothing. Some things never make sense, a fear of stepping out, 
Door slowly opens, Johnny sits on his bed, lays down and dies. 
A wider alliance that leads to new roads beyond the limits, holding hands, jumping off walls into dark seclusion, cut off from the mainstream of most intimate yearnings, I left my heart somewhere on the other side, I left all desire for good. Clinging to naked thought, impossible tactics worked out for impossible means. This is the final moment of respite. The final page in the book. A bitter challenge between old and new, with one last warning.   
http://www.poemhunter.com/ian-kevin-curtis

All lyrics (untitled) by Ian Curtis circa 1978 taken from “Touching From A Distance” by Deborah Curtis Published by Faber & Faber London 1995

Friday, 11 July 2014

Yes, it's a lie, I'm not in love with anyone, I lost the ability to love too. I only contemplate the sea and the sky, smell the sweetness in the air and see how her hair flies so shiny in the wind. No more words and no more love. And that is quite enough.

Monday, 30 June 2014

"Human relationships didn't work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear: cranks, imbeciles, the demented, the vengeful, sadists, killers. Modern society had created its own kind and they feasted on each other. It was a duel to the death...in a cesspool."
—Bukowski, Women, 1978

Sunday, 22 June 2014

We were all born a little too late for our own lives.

Saturday, 14 June 2014


Many women and men I met throughout my life have been lost, and also not knowing who they are for themselves and for others. And because they hadn't the good fortune of having a place to call HOME since young, they didn't truly get to know what it meant to feel loved, to love and they couldn't develop stability. Many roam in this world carrying with them this feeling still ("you can run but you ca
n't hide from yourself), but one or two - rare cases - have decided to make a home for them and they manage to built them with the love of someone else. I'm so very glad for these last.
But for the others - the majority -, though it seems your whole life was already defined and that's what it will always be, precisely for the lack of that "home stability" foundations, I really wish you can find a way, or better yet, decide to build it in this one life you have. May you surpass it all and get to make this change, to find a way, to fight for it, to have a passion and getting to the top of that mountain.

Friday, 13 June 2014

A love greater than everything has the measure of impossibility.

Thursday, 29 May 2014

a tattoo that scars your skin is nothing compared to the tattoo made within
deep in your soul there's a tattoo of your love
and in mine lays an open wound

taken aback
don't let them see
don't let them know

again and again
they're all the same
and you're always the same
so nothing good will come

Saturday, 17 May 2014

I am filled with scars that never got to feel the wounds
Have I lived enough?
Have my body and mind felt the earthly pleasures and pains?
What is to live enough?

I am a shadow of myself
wandering through life like if it was a forgotten movie
deff and made in black and white
with sudden and rare flashes of colour

Have you mistaken me for someone else?
You probably did.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Being ethical and having principles doesn't give any fruits in this life and this world, but in the long-term it amounts to what defines you and is fruitful for your conscience as you know you've been faithful to what you believe in and no one can take that away from you.

Thursday, 1 May 2014

solitude is the temple where I grow 
and loneliness is the guillotine where my life flashes back

Another death of me and they kill me

Being completely destroyed weighs inside like shattered steel that cuts constantly.
The only thing positive about having a depression is that it takes the stress and the stiffness of the body when under pressure.

Sunday, 27 April 2014

“You scullion. You rampallian. You fustilarian. I’ll tickle your catastrophe.” 
Falstaff, Henry IV part I; Act 2, Scene 2 - William Shakespeare

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

“Sit still with me in the shade of these green trees, which have no weightier thought than the withering of their leaves when autumn arrives, or the stretching of their many stiff fingers into the cold sky of the passing winter. Sit still with me and meditate on how useless effort is, how alien the will, and on how our very meditation is no more useful than effort, and no more our own than the will. Meditate too on how a life that wants nothing can have no weight in the flux of things, but a life that wants everything can likewise have no weight in the flux of things, since it cannot obtain everything, and to obtain less than everything is not worthy of souls that seek the truth.” 
― Fernando PessoaThe Education Of The Stoic,

Friday, 4 April 2014

“There is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one's idea for thirty-five years; there's something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas.” 
― Fyodor DostoyevskyThe Idiot

Friday, 21 March 2014

Love, exciting and new... (though it's the same old one :D)

You in black and me in white
We were just lovers in paradise

The old love boat rocked a time
but faithful and steady
it always came back to the quay

I don't know me as I don't know you
So I utterly do it for me and you

You hold my hand like a daddy to his little girl
to cross the roads and toss the fear where it doesn't show
and my hair is still rebellious and yours short but it is too
as the wind blows mine yours is always in the same place

There were seagulls in the sky
And you were mine

It was dark and I couldn't see
but I also know there was you and me
and I was yours as I always was
Love me tender, love me true
just forever as we always do.


Sunday, 2 March 2014

"And now, the end is near"

I think I'm finally going to die and it seems quite a proper time,
for it has been shown to me that there is no hope for a happiness that is true.

thank you and goodbye

What I regret the most in general is to have always put others first than myself,
I should've been there more for me
even when it meant not caring for others.
I loved too much and was loved and taken care of too little.
But as it was a no refund and no return trip, I'll just have to settle with what I got,
stop complaining, because it was quite a lot and it could've been a bit worse (though since I remember, all the suffering - being bullied, battered, bruised, aflicted by rare and grave diseases with daily symptoms that impaired a minimum quality of life and having been without support through it all in pain and misery - was quite awful; that death, at lack of alternative, becomes the biggest desire for ultimate peace from all earthly wounds).

Finding true love is rare and at least I got to feel and know what a bit of happiness was like.

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Thursday, 20 February 2014

I am a pirate

What is happening to me?

I am the dried earth of the Past,
I starve for water to fill the cracks in my skin;
I will rule upon thirst,
I will be the victor of no man's land,
not even my own.

My face has become hardened
and I can no longer tell if the sun
with all its glory
can regenerate me or destroy me
or do nothing at all.

I am the pirate of my own ship
and I dwell in what I've stolen
for years and years
from all the little women
and all the mighty men.

Roaming alone for centuries
generation after generation
my fate has become one
my woes have stormed
causing thunders to strike me
with every step I take.

I despise the sea and all the creatures
for I am the damned one
I am the cursed starfish
that is fated to be shredded and put together
thousands of times as the waves come and go.

I will crawl on the sand eternally
always struggling to not sink
in its moving miseries
and wet surroundings
And I shall not surrender
because I'm doomed to it
and this is who I am.

I am the pirate
the one whose hair and beard is long
and the temper and patience is short.


Friday, 7 February 2014

A love from the heart

Are you blind?
Can't you see me stitching the wounds
as you come by and make fresh ones?
In my heart. In my mind.
And had I a soul and it would need replacement!

I can't carry on as we are
Everloving and not at all,
it's just too schizophrenic for me.

The first time you smiled I knew I was lost
and the first time you made me laugh
I knew I was found.

Well I don't care anymore,
I love you with all your madness
and I'll lick the stitches out of your heart
till they are invisible to the naked body.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

The hole

I have the darkest hole in me.
The kind that burns the fire
and wets the water
and drowns the oceans
and twinkles the stars.

No rain will ever fill it,
no sun will shine on it,
though it has no bottom
and though it is wide open
it's not in my soul,
it's not in my heart,
it's not in my body,
for the hole is me.

The Suffering

To be denied of the basic needs: to not be able to sleep, to rest, to eat, to feel joy and pleasure in life. These are the biggest torments that one faces. It's the living hell. I grieve and the suffering has no measure, no limit and no end at sight.

Monday, 3 February 2014

Life is a constant battle from which we always leave defeated no matter how well we fought. 

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Where do emotions go?

When emotions go to places they stay there.
And when we visit them - places and emotions - there they are.

Carry your emotions in the pocket of your heart
and let them be confortably hugged by the warmth
that they originally had when they were born.

Then try to keep them close to you
just in hand, just there at reach
so that whenever you need them
you can always find them.

Because if you don't pay close attention
they'll runaway as independent and lost
as some alley cat who never had a home,
and then you will have a faint idea of all of your loss
but there won't be anything you can do.


Monday, 27 January 2014

I have fought all my life to find the balance, guiding myself through the saying of "virtus in medium est", and yet here I am lost in the middle in between nowhere. 

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Enchiridion, by Epictetus

... The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed. 

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

being a better human,
a better human being,
human being a better,
a human being better

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

True Love is the ultimate bomb: when it starts it is exploding with happiness and when it ends it goes nuke and annihilates everything.

Sunday, 19 January 2014

Autopoesis

Regeneration
Resilience
Veins
Strands
neurons
genomes
reproduction
cells

What else can you tell?

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Mankind can be divided in, amongst others, three categories: losers, assholes and overachievers.

Monday, 13 January 2014

Restarting? Not possible.

Is creation possible when everything is gone?
They say one can start from scratch, a clean slate... but is it ever clean, is it ever starting from nothing?
I don't think so. Unless you're a newborn, or even in that case I don't think it's possible, because you're always genetically predisposed, you come with a heavy heritage of centuries past.

So restarting is a false concept. It's just to give hope like everything else that humans made up. Restarting is not possible. If it were a game, a mere façade, it would be, because in a game you could create your own rules from the start if the game was truly yours, and who knows you could actually have spare lives too.
In reality the game has long been over when the human species was being formed. For from start we know that life is a long-term suicidal plan and nothing more than that.

The last goodbye

When he held me tight,
to show me that he loved me,
I almost felt I couldn't breath
and I thought then
that I wanted his arms to be my final home
and his embrace my final goodbye.

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Friday, 10 January 2014

My own

I am my own joy
my own pain

There are too many people
There are too many things

I am my own body
I am my own mind

My love is wild like the wind

My love is wild like the wind.
When he doesn't love me he tears me apart.
When he loves me he lifts me up to dance in the clouds
and we fly away to our own eden.
For we are wild like the wind
just like our love.

Monday, 6 January 2014

translucid sounds
transparent lights

the rains of silence
the cold meltdown

"everyone's Noah
everyone's the ark"

show me the light
hidden in the dark

I couldn't see

Saturday, 4 January 2014

The first nightfall

After days without seeing the sun
the sky finally appeased and showed its blue
and I understood the days were turning,
restarting to grow larger.

The sky was falling pink amongst the shades
of the stormy days that now passed
and every car was a pink mirror
and every building's window was invisible.

Far, I could listen to a kind of siren's song
coming from the northern breeze
and it was whispering in a choir of silk
that new days were being spawned again.

My sight was serene and not darkened
as it used to for so many days,
and though the sun was no longer there
I could still feel its light in the horizon.

An ethereal calm was sung in the clouds
and it tenuous vibration reached my face
I was no longer alone, I thought,
although the still reminiscence of pain.