Thursday, 17 December 2009
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Where you can wash away your tears
If you tell me: “it’s better now”
I’ll just give away for you my fears.
I can hear the silence of the water
Can you wash away my pain and grief?
I believe, despite all you taught her,
She will remain always the big thief.
Can you find me a magnificent willow
So that i can lay down in the shadow?
We’ ll spend all our lives far away
And you’ll see that it’s just like I say.
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
with an empty soul
my body decays soon
and my mind went for a stroll.
I can't see the walls
they're closing down on me
as I yell at them to see
that my spirit falls.
All around me
anywhere I look
I see a number that repeats
one-one-one, they say to me
it's in every page of every book
it is when madness speaks.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
I've harvested the sun
with the sapience of an old man.
Her words were as big as her smile
and I touched her hair made of waves
as gentle as the sea
and thought to myself:
have you ever tasted so much beauty?
Wild horses racing in my chest
as my heart felt closer to her,
and her warmth, her scent,
were touching me with soft fingers.
Standing as one, our shadow in the sunset,
reminded me of a picture hung in a museum
named after her and built by me.
When she left, emptiness started crawling in,
and as I watched her leave I thought to myself:
just as the sun rising and setting,
everyday, her beauty lingers.
Saturday, 12 September 2009
Going just around the corner,
I see its many blocks,
I tried to warn her.
There's a quarter for misery and pain,
with hedges of the dimmest stone,
a yard for those out of the game,
and another for the friends who moan.
Just on the right side of this quarter,
there are tall shiny buildings made of glass,
I often go all the way to its border
always bearing the fear of some crash.
The south sections of my crowded heart
are dropping small quantities of blood,
it's a leaking problem of some part
that once in a while sink me in mud.
It bleeds so that I know I'm alive
It's reality conquering from within
needing to remind myself to strive
above all and in my beloved's heart lean.
Friday, 11 September 2009
Monday, 7 September 2009
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
People keep abandoning each other:
parents forget their children in cars
family forgets family
lovers forget lovers.
This is a rotting world we're living in;
we built a shitty hole for ourselves:
parents beating up children
married people fighting
people hitting each other
killing tons of other people
viruses and cancer-like diseases
through other people
trough thin air!
That's why I don't want to be a part of this no more.
I've seen enough.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
A man to a woman: "I will concede you Freedom inside a small box, wrapped in light blue paper, with a white bow on it." (Yes, it's a tiffany's box)
Monday, 27 July 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
that come to compare themselves
with the present.
You are always on my mind.
My sister, my friend, my everlasting mother.
I cannot hide who I am.
My thoughts are surrounded
that cut deep into the dark area,
hidden by fear.
I miss you, but can I still trust you?
There's a thurmoil, now and then,
Stormy weather rises, sometimes.
Can I always count
with you for protection?
Somedy told me
you aren't there anymore,
where I thought you'd always be.
I hope I didn't push you too hard.
I hope you'll find your way back home.
When it reaches me,
I'll be asleep.
Frozen, in my bed, waiting.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Have you ever wondered why our planet is called Earth, especially when its constituency is of 70% of water and it is frequently referred to as the blue planet?
Because we are the ones inhabiting the portions of earth on this globe?
I guess it's all an attempt of turning humans into the center of the universe, as always, we tell ourselves that we're the most important thing, the only thing, capable of thought and intelligence, the only thing worth saving in this planet.
All, to tell ourselves that we're not alone, convince ourselves, even when your whole family just died, there's someone who comes and tells you that "you are not left alone", because, supposedly, that someone, a fucking stranger, can relate to you in that moment of total loss, just because he is another freaking human inhabiting the same portion of land in this planet called Earth.
And, yet, we take it for granted. We destroy it. We're like a tourist that abuses and spoils everything, when on holidays, on a foreign country. We don't respect it, we don't relate to it at all, we despise it and its needs.
We're just children of destruction and damnation. And Earth is our playground.
I'm gonna get me a pet and leave him out
I'm gonna make a family and scream and shout
I'm gonna have a child and let him bloat
Escape is always the safest path
For a dissident who's got no keg
To hide away in
When all abandon him
No religion, or country can define me
I'm the lover of nihilism
The true liver of unexpectedness
And there's no cure for me
Monday, 8 June 2009
Friday, 5 June 2009
I will always be fond of blue light.
What shall I do now, that birds aren’t flying anymore? Wasted too much time, and yet there was no time to be wasted somehow. I have no fucking face. Look so thin, skinny. Hate it, myself.
My face is converging to the floor. Big shit. Look like shit. My body is weak and my body is sick. Don’t want to get out, don’t want to stay at home.
All an illusion of being real.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
relentless and in spiral
that once could feed someone
Now remaining fears
Once I could find myself
hear the sound of my tears
and know the taste of my dreams
that once could feed someone
Some things can't be undone
and when they're too many
its a sign that it's too late
Nothing Woman. Wasn't she something?
Colors of the rainbow in each memory
and still the emptiness of black & white pictures
Wasn't she something? Nothing Woman
Monday, 13 April 2009
It was a Spring morning and the sun was shining shy up in the sky.
I held his face between my hands and it fell warm and magnetic. Such magnetism makes you get lost in the most damned fantasies and dreams.
We were in deep darkness and I couldn’t see his face that well, but I knew who he was. I’ve had already known for a long time and still it made no difference at all.
Later in time I met his child and he kept entering my dreams in the night, now his child was there too. He was my antichrist, my antistar, my eternal darkness and his child was a lost bliss for me.
He came to me one day apologizing, offering help, but he’s request for forgiveness was far from the real redemption. He had a chance, unlike before, to achieve real redemption but he didn’t know how to accept it, he couldn’t possibly be that light in his spirit or in his soul or even in his mind. He never knew what to do with himself. I was just part of what he never knew about himself. Just a way of running from the other memories he made for himself. I don’t know if he will ever surpass this condition of ignorance about himself, and even if he does, I don’t know if he will know how to live with his true self.
I wish he could be that strong and brave for once, I wish he really wanted to be happy as he could be.
One day maybe the sky will stop showing so much pain and we’ll stop hurting with all this happenings that belong in the past. Maybe that day we’ll start being faithful to our promises and never give up on one another. I don’t know if it is possible, due to our human nature, to settle with what is given to us, I wish it would be, because I think things would be much more simple and therefore cause less pain. Maybe one day we’ll reach the real knowledge of accepting things how they are when they can’t be changed, change the things that need to be changed and above all, know how to distinguish them.
Meanwhile, I hope he feels inside the love that I felt for him all my life.
Friday, 13 March 2009
Cannot find the comfort in this world
Artificial tear...vessel stabbed...next up, volunteers
Vulnerable, wisdom can't adhere...
A truant finds home...and I wish to hold on...
But there's a trapdoor in the sun...immortality...
As privileged as a whore...victims in demand for public show
Swept out through the cracks beneath the door
Holier than thou, how?
Scrawl dissolved, cigar box on the floor...
A truant finds home...and I wish to hold on, too...
But saw the trapdoor in the sun...
I cannot stop the thought...I'm running in the dark...
Coming up a which way sign...all good truants must decide...
Oh, stripped and sold, mom...auctioned forearm...
And whiskers in the sink...
Truants move on...cannot stay long
Some die just to live...
(song said to be written inspired on Kurt Cobain, after his suicide)
Thursday, 12 March 2009
I'M MISSING THE STILLNESS OF YOUR EYES
THAT WHISPERED TO ME: “EVERYTHING’S OK.”
ANYWAY, WHEREVER YOU ARE NOW
WHEREVER YOU WILL GO, I ‘LL CRY ALWAYS
‘CAUSE I KNOW DEEP INSIDE IT'S EMPTY
AND THAT LIFE WAS ALWAYS SO MUCH EASIER
WHEN YOU WERE IN ME, JUST BEING BY MY SIDE.
APPART, WE HAVE BEEN HAVING DARKNESS,
WE’RE ALWAYS BEING NOTHING BUT STONES,
HOWEVER, ONCE TOGETHER WE HAD LIGHT
AND WE WERE BEING NOTHING BUT STARS.
MY RAINY DAYS JUST KEEP COMING ABOVE ME
AND MY SOUL REMAINS IN PURE GRIEF
WHEN I SMILE DESPERATELY AMONG PEOPLE.
IT ISN’T FAIR TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE BREATHING,
THAT YOU’RE UNDER THE SAME SCARLET SKY,
ALL THAT WHENEVER YOU’RE NOT MINE
AND MY SPIRIT MOVES YOUR SOUL DRAGGING IT
‘CAUSE I'M TRYING TO FIND AN ANSWER
TO WHAT REMAINED FLOATING IN THE THIN AIR
IT’S NOTHING BUT WHAT THERE’S NOW BETWEEN US.
WHERE YOU CAN WASH AWAY YOUR TEARS
IF YOU TELL ME: “IT’S BETTER NOW”
I’LL JUST GIVE AWAY FOR YOU MY FEARS.
I CAN HEAR THE SILENCE OF THE WATER
CAN YOU WASH AWAY MY PAIN AND GRIEF?
I BELIEVE, DESPITE ALL YOU TAUGHT HER,
SHE WILL REMAIN ALWAYS THE BIG THIEF.
CAN YOU FIND ME A MAGNIFICENT WILLOW
SO THAT I CAN LAY DOWN IN THE SHADOW?
WE’ LL SPEND ALL OUR LIFES FAR AWAY
AND YOU’LL SEE THAT IT’S JUST LIKE I SAY.
IN THIS STRANGE MUTE RITUAL
INVOLVED IN SWEET FRAGRANCIES
OF MY PAIN MELT IN SORROW DUST,
MY LIQUID WOE GETS WITH THE RAIN
AND THEY BECOME SO BEAUTIFULLY ONE.
MY WORLD FADES AWAY SLOWLY
IN THE SILENCED MUSIC OF LOVE
THAT MY ONE TEARS IN THE RAIN
PRODUCED FROM PAIN AND HURT
CONCEIVE ART, RESUMED POETRY
IN MY TORMENTED MELANCHOLY.
(inspired on the song "Tears in the rain" of Joe Satriani)
MY BODY FALLS IN DEEP SLEEP
LOVE TO STAY IN BED
IT’S NOT WILLING TO LEAVE ME NOW
AND THEN THE WORLD CLOSES DOWN
AND THE DREAMS COME RISING IN
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO SAD
MY BODY IS PUSHED INTO A HOLE
LOVE TO STAY IN BED
IT’S NOT WILLING TO LEAVE ME NOW
AND THEN THE WORLD FALLS APPART
AND THE DREAMS ARE BROKEN DOWN
FATE TORE US APPART
AND IN THAT SAME MOMENT
SHATTERED MY WHOLE BODY,
AS MY SOUL WAS ALSO TORN
IT WAS ALL CHANGED INTO STARS
TINY LITTLE DUSTY SKY LIGHTS.
THEN ALL HUMAN PEOPLE DOWN
ON EARTH, WATCHING STUNNED,
DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THE SUN;
SO AS I DIED, KILLED BY LOVE
NIGHT TOOK PLACE IN THE WORLD
AND EVERYONE PRAISED MY LOVE,
CAUSE OF MY TORN BODY AND SOUL.
VERSIONS TURNED TO:
“ NINA & DARK ANGEL”
In my chest lays the darkest crow
And in my soul nothing but grief
Chafing my body into its visceral parts.
Once, I were like you, Almighty,
Till I fell asleep by the hands of God,
Drunk with an erotic chemical,
Destined to deep coma until the one,
The One, Almighty, would come with the cure.
AND SO IT HAPPENED...
Lightened by a candle’s fragile flame,
Involved with sour scents of old roses,
Like death was to be unraveled,
You touched me like no one ever did:
Your kiss in my lips bringing me life;
The bursting chest full of joy filling me,
The strength of pure and flawless love
Awoken me up from my silenced self.
YOU FOUND YOURSELF OUT OF YOU...
Once, you suddenly left me to sorrow;
Nor you or I have ever understood it
But I believe you drunk a liquor
Of Evil an Darkness of this world
By the hands of the Devil unlike myself
And then, led to believe that everything,
Every little thing between us was dead,
As you left saying your Love was gone.
AND THIS IS THE ETERNAL UNDEFINED PRESENT...
In my chest the most scarlet rose died
And the darkest crow was tattooed,
Which turned my life to nothing but emptiness;
As all my world became black and ugly
And my heart ripped from me was drained,
The sky fell on my tumulted thought,
I felt the circle closed and me complete,
But it was just with pain, forever...
IT WAS JUST THE CROW CARRYING IT ALL ...
SCREAMS OF DISPAIR
HEAD THAT FLOATS
I was left with Cosmic Tears
Flowing from my Blinded Eyes,
No one would ask for my Fears
Filling my Withered Soul
As everyone believed in lies
And I was Shattered like Coal.
My Lungs, my Heart and my Inside
Were pulled from my Chest.
Did all at the same time hide,
So no one would notice Sadness?
No, Gravity gave them a rest
Then made them fall in Madness.
In my whole Body, night had laid,
There were no more sunrises now
Only Painful Sunsets in my Shade.
I tried so hard to let it all go;
Never thought I'd end on a Slough,
I've got in my Womb nothing but Woe.
I LIKE YOUR SWEET GARDEN
LOVE ITS FLOWERS
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR SHINY STAR
LOVE YOUR SHY COLOUR
SHE IS CALM, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR TINNY PEBBLES
LOVE ITS SERIOUSNESS
THEY'RE STRONG, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR FLUFFY CLOUDS
LOVE THEIR WHITENESS
THEY'RE RUSHY, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR ICY HUG
LOVE ITS WARMTH
HE IS CARING, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR LITTLE CAT
LOVE ITS GRUMBLINGS
HE IS AFFECTIOUS, AS YOU.
I LIKE YOUR UNIQUE EVERYTHING
LOVE ITS FULLNESS
BUT NOTHING COMPARES
TO YOU; I LOVE YOU....
Can't come by the lake
Whenever it's cold
Can't come by the cake
Whenever it's gold
People are strange...
Can't travel very far
Whenever you're young
Can't go with the car
Whenever an accident sung
People are strange...
Can't tell what's in mind
Whenever you would like
Can't show anyone kind
Whenever you're on strike
Friday, 6 March 2009
If you don't jump over it,
She'll fall right on you
Sometimes I want to die
Or I have the wish of killing...
Yet the necessity of loving
If someone deserves it.
Now we fall in temptation
And live a misery novel
The mystery is cut off
And what's left is death...
Your black beauty conquers me
And with me I want to take
The one and only I love most,
If you love me come with me...
Drink the liquid I give you
The poisoned gift of love
Come to share Eternity with me...
In my veins my strength flows
That drags me in this mud
To it's deep like profound nightmare.
The double moonlight that sparkles
This adventure's night of mine
Reflects above the frozen lake
Revealing all the madness
Of the four full moons...
Silence is brutally murdered
By the cries of the wolves...
Despair invades my desperate soul...
It's time for our unification
The sacrifice will take place...
For each two souls unifying
One will be sacrificed...
The blood runs to our feet
Brings me the pure smell
Of a creature created by God
In the surrounding scenery
Death is the mistress and lady
The Master is such a genie
When choosing ceremony places
The night of the four full moons
Lights marvelously the trees
That are cut in cross shape
And the privileged ones in sacrifice
Offered to the Master...
translated from someone else's poem
And once I was lost I found myself.
It's always funny: when you're alive
You don't ask for anything that comes,
Someone else takes care of requiring
Everything that you less wanted or
Even thought about having in your day,
So today, I'm traveling so that
One time in my day I decide for myself,
Make plans for my life, that will happen
As soon as I start leaving behind
The stupid fact that till now I existed,
I only limited myself to that fact,
So now I'm beginning to live also.
Don't know yet how I'm going to do
To make my whole unknown way through
But I promise myself and anyone else,
I'll try to make it and it's with you;
I hope sincerely, you'll make it too.
THE MOON WENT TO BED
THE SUN GROWS NOW RED
BEAUTY SHOWS BRIGHT
WHAT COMES TO LIGHT
FALLS A LEAVE FROM THE TREE
BLOWN WITH THE WIND
START SPINNING WITH ME
THROUGH FLOWERS LET'S SWING
CALL NOW THAT SMILE
WHILE IT GOT FUNNY
WE TUMBLED IN THE GRASS
COVERED WITH COLORS
AS BIRDS SOFTLY PASSED.
Pure disgrace starts surrounding
Every single minute of your life
Start loosing all your careness
Otherwise you'll be caught laughing
Of yourself and two seconds later
You'll be fighting yourself
Fighting beyond what you are
Fighting with an image that you see
Distorted in the mirror in front of you
Calling for help, seeing that you're stuck
And that there's no way out.
I'M LETTING MYSELF
ABANDONING MY BODY
MY SOUL BECAME EMPTY
I'M LETTING MYSELF GO
I'M WONDERING HERE
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
IT'S DARK BUT I DON'T CARE
MY MONSTERS HAVE KILLED
ALL MY BEAUTIFUL ANGELS
MY NIGHTMARES HAVE KILLED
ALL MY INNOCENT DREAMS
IT'S COLD BUT I DON'T CARE
I JUST CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING
MY PAINS WERE EVER GREAT
BUT NOW THEY BECAME SILENTED
IT'S A WARNING OF DEATH
A STRANGE CALM BEFORE ETERNITY
MUDE, IT'S ROAMING MY INSIDE
I CAN'T STAND ALL THIS ANYMORE
I CAN'T STAND IT BY MYSELF
I'M DIYING FOR BEING ALONE
I'M DIYING AND THERE'S NO ONE ELSE.
Never wanted to be on it,
Never even asked for it!
One day we're fine,
On the other we're dead,
What kind of life is this?
This shiteous world is filled
Of great creeps and crazies,
This existence is not worthy,
What the hell am I still doing
In this rotting life so meanless?
If I can't understand something like Life,
How can I ever accept Death?
There is no purpose to so much suffer;
Those who die in the very single minute
That they put their heads here outside,
Are the ones that got their ways out
Of this miserable and pointless trip.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
BY SUNSET I'LL MISS YOU
SO BY SUNSET I'LL DIE
FOR BEING SO SHY.
BY SUNSHINE I'LL KISS YOU
AND THEN I'LL PROMISE YOU
I'LL BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY
BY SUNSHINE A GOODBYE LONELY
BY STARLIGHT I'LL KNOW YOU
BY STARLIGHT I'LL SHOW YOU
SO BY STARLIGHT I'LL LOVE
FOR THE STARS ABOVE.
BY MOONLIGHT I'LL KISS YOU
AND THEN I'LL WISH YOU
I'LL BE WITH YOU FOREVER
BY MOONLIGHT WE'LL BE TOGETHER.
This world is spinning to another place
The Earth laughs beneath my knees
Like a mad man crying at the rain
I'm tired of crawling from this race
The shadows are lighting the seas
Of my peaceful and restless pain.
I guess my world is fading away
Sometimes I listen carefully to a voice
That got out of the wind's throat
He whispers shouting for me to stay
And I can't hide; I don't have a choice
I must believe and row this bad boat.
The trees spell gently their quest
And their leaves fall of deep regret
My world's flowers are going to sleep
Their bright colored petals request
To me that I don't ever miss the sunset
And also not to leave anything fall asleep.
It hurts my clouded eyes,
I can just support the dark,
I only come out at night.
He comes to me like an angel,
Breathing sunshine all over,
Taking my restless sky away,
My quiet and lonely dawn
Forever asleep in the fog.
Wandering through secret places,
Visiting your silenced fears,
Knowing all of them by heart.
I rather know and face alone
My end that is coming so slowly,
Still I end up flying on my own,
Searching a place where I'm unknown.
Can you take my fears away?
I fear the shade...
For how long will she stay?
Can you make me company?
Now it's being me only
And it isn't much funny.
Can you also say like me?
That your life is shady
And once you climbed a tree?
Can you protect me from all?
I'm caught in this wall
And i'm feeling like a creep.
Can you bring me to life?
I died and then said:
I took time to find a knife.
Why am I the only one to cry
When someone does hurt me so?
You speak and I rather die
Than hear what you don't know.
I hurt you...you don't cry, why?
I'm a stone that tells you no
When you ask me if I'm shy,
But deep inside I melt like snow.
So tell me why don't you weep,
When I start shouting and say
That my hate for you is deep?
I know you know I'll sweep
That whole thing and stay
Waiting you, my sweet "creep".
THIS STRONG AND HEAVY CHAIN
THAT IS DRAGGING ME WITH NO MERCY
INTO A DEEP AND ENDLESS HOLE;
I TRY TO RUN BUT IT'S ALWAYS HERE,
AND I SCREAM AND CRY MY SORROWS
ASKING FOR SOMEONE TO RESCUE ME,
KNOWING FROM THE START THERE'S NO ONE.
I FIGHT BUT MY STRENGHT ISN'T ENOUGH...
LET ME REST IN YOUR BODY
TILL THERE ARE NO MORE TEARS TO DROP,
HOLD ME UNTILL THEY SLEEP,
LET THE PAIN DIE OF EXAUSTHION:
I'M DELIVERING MYSELF AWAY,
SAYING FAIRWELL TO THE THINGS,
THE FEW THINGS, THAT MADE ME STRUGGLE,
THE SAME THAT GAVE ME THOSE TEARS
WHICH WERE FALLING FOR KNOWING
THAT THEY WERE NEVER THERE,
WHERE I SEARCHED SO DESPERATELY.
I COULD HEAR YOUR SHINING LIGHT
AND I COULD SEE YOUR RESTLESS VOICE,
KISS YOUR GENTLE THOUGHT AND TRY
TO REACH AS HIGH AS YOUR HEIGHT
JUST TO HAVE THE CHOICE
OF TALKING OR NOT WITH YOU.
I STAYED BLIND WITH YOUR SCREAM
THAT CROSSED ME HERE INSIDE
AND TOOK MY ONCE PEACEFUL TRUE.
I HAD ALREADY SEEN A DREAM,
ALL THE ANGER OF THAT TIDE,
IN THIS MIND OF MINE
I ONLY HAD AN IMAGE REPETING
AND IN THE DEEP TONE OF SILENCE
I MADE MY FREEDOM SHINE,
NEVER HAD IT BEFORE, INCREASING
AS NOW BETWEEN ALL THIS SILENCE
IT COMES LIKE A DROP OF HAPPYNESS,
CRYING LOUD, SHOUTING EVEN,
I WAS FEELING THEN YOUR PRESENCE
AND YOUR STEPS WERE SO CLOSE
THAT I COULD TREMBLE WITH THEM;
EVERY STEP HEAVILY AND SLOWLY MADE
WAS LIKE A SMALL EXPLOSION INSIDE ME;
I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU DO IT
SO THAT I CAN DO IT TO YOU TOO;
THIS SENSATION I WANT YOU TO MEET
BUT HOW, I DON'T HAVE ANY CLUE.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Now that birds aren't swimming anymore
And fishes aren't flying in that deep sea of mystery
What shall we do now?
Now that skies are drifting
On the waves of feelings;
The skies are falling
Upon the thought of my race
I'm just born handicapped
Anyone can see it on my face.
What shall I do now?
I was born a girl in this world
But I rather not be one
Sorry...I apologize for the girl's voice
I just haven't got any kind of a choice
I guess... it's my destiny
Do I have to speak what they tell me?
Since I'm a girl I lost my freedom
At home before ten I must be
That is how it has always been
That is all you let me be
Am I a weak for being a girl?
Someone has to change this world
Girls should be equally allowed to be on it
I'll be a girl for all my life
So things will have to change
I can't change my situation but you can...
Why do I have to be a small harmless girl
In this big rotting world?!!!