To have you hold my hand in yours, forevermore, to be free.

 Do you even care about me? No, the facts are there for me to see. I was dumb enough to excuse you and not believe you were really tarnished by them. 

What about love?

 Do you think it's awful that I compiled a book of love poems when I really didn't love you the best I could have without making you suffer? Yeah, maybe you have accumulated wrath over that too. 

I realized again how much I truly made you my joy, a lot of it most of times, and I really had hope at some moments that you and everyone I ended up loving so much would one day be having fun all together with me. 

I guess all my life I waited for love to save me, my love for myself ended up the only thing that eventually will save me, they say. Still alive, aching, but still alive, now need to stop loving everyone and start loving myself only as you all say.

 If it's meant for me to die this year, let it be in September, the month I was born 

And if so, don't postpone your wedding, I will try to be there in (literally hehe and at least the problem of you buying me the bridesmaid dress won't be an issue anymore). 

 Everything hurts, 

Everything rusts,

I don't want to resuscitate anymore

You can take me to the other shore

 In my dream, you answered to her: "I think about her everyday".

 I see you almost everyday and many times I say to myself I couldn't ever be in love with you. But even when I don't see you there's something in me deep inside that knows that there is no other love and that unfortunately we're each other's like no other. 

Men

 Have I mentioned that I hate you? I do. I have in some moments hated you with absolute wrath. Men that make me hate men in general. Yes, that's what you are.

The fact that you're all fucking irresponsible and deadly cowards does it.

 You're with the love of your life, it's her, that older boring woman you chose to be with again, as you said. So don't think I was the one, the woman of your life, the one you loved the most. Because I'm not. I never was, you abandoned me, you totally abandoned me, and don't think you didn't, don't say anymore that you didn't, just because you're still sending me a message once in a while. 

Why is it so fucking hard?

 Do I even mean anything at all to you of good and important? How can you leave us suffering like this? 

It's all a lie. 

You really think she is a younger version of me? Don't you know passion blinds and lies. 

Are we just the hormonal cocktail that bosses us around? 

Can you even acknowledge that you're wasting our precious time that could be the only chance we've got before inexistence ?