Without your forgiveness

I'm just a lost pearl

With no oyster

 I still feel you talking to me. Why is it so hard for you to be my friend again? 

I've fallen in love

 I've fallen in love just now

with a man who plays the piano

the sax and the Spanish guitar

for hours

and reads to me

cooks his spaghetti with magic

and doesn't like football

prefers to watch the Tour de France

and is absolutely crazy in love

with the whole of me

I used to have a beautiful love

But I lost it

Because everything fades away

by the hands of difficulty

He'll never know

 He despises me, doesn't care about me, and it's all mainly because of everything I did. If he only knew that all of the best was precisely given to him by what I did. 

 Were you her little boy that whole time you were with me? Why did you tell me I was the woman of your life while being with another person in bed? Is it all I'm worth for? Two times now, two people, the ones I loved the most all those years, basically told and did the same. Am I to blame? Yet a third one I never believed that could love me like I am, old and grey, dying, and so it is. 

All that is left is for me to die of this Addison Disease, unloved.

 What do you do when you think too much of me? You go and f*ck her?

 Does your love warm you at night?

I wanted you for myself

Just you and no one else

 Is it a mystery that things like lava (and you and fire and storms) can be so beautiful and monstrous at the same time?

 What will you do when you discover it too? Or do you already feel it all this time?

The cold place now is making sense from the "interview" and the vision.