The song

 The same way you're shaking your head while singing the song is like that only one time when you "saw" me. But as always it's all in my head. 

("The song a robin sings...)

I'm crying writing you this one

 I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was in love with you; I didn't understand and accept what was going on till it was too late, the "self-defense" mechanism had blown everything to shit already. Actually it never happened to me before, but then again I didn't fall in love before when I was sick with hyperadrenalism. 

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I told you I'm sorry. But nothing really makes it all go away, the hedious part. Part of me was conscious of the results and the violence of what I was doing and thought it was necessary a bit. I don't know why I even returned to pray after all these years, just for my despair of the situation, and asked that you had some girlfriend and that l would know so it all ends all the confusion and feeling. But it didn't end. And everyone keeps saying still to go there and I've even thought of it, searched some way, even knowing I would die. 

I just wanted to be held by you, all this time, to lean my head on you chest and listen to your heartbeat, beating for me too. I'm so tired, so tired, I just wanted to rest near you, with your arms holding me. 

I love you for a "thousand years", my all. 

I'm so sorry. I already knew you weren't supposed to be mine so early I guess. But knowing you will marry someone else and think she is the woman of your life, is actually making me really sad. 

What can I do? I had no chance from the beginning. There was a moment I really believed in you, I thought you felt it all too and that somehow that faith and everything that we were experiencing was going to make you be indeed that warrior with the Saint Michael's/George's sword and you would come and rescue me from my death. 

How ingenuous and a romantic fool I was. :)

I love you and want you forever with me

 I dreamed you were a little boy 
And though you said you were mine
You told me you always wanted her
Since you were little
That you dreamed of marrying her
So I just had to let you go

But I don't want to
I want this time to be different
I want to be happy 
And have something for me
For a change
Instead of letting them go
And be happy with someone else
And leave me in black

Now I just want to be with you
Though I know you can have her
That you'd be much happier with
Probably more fulfilled too
And that I have less to do with you
But you are, I can see now
The love of my life
Though nothing seems right
And everything is irrational
Way beyond I could ever think of
It can't all be just a fantasy
I just wanted you to be free
Young and happy
As you seemed to be 

So if you think you can take care of me
You can come and get me
And I'll die just to be with you
Just to be able to press my head on your chest
And hear the sound of your heartbeat
Beating for me as mine races too

My last breath will be with
As true as my eyes watering now
Just to think of how much 
I've been loving you
For all this long

 Why do I have to suffer like this?

By Anno Birkin

 Steal me.

Melt my gold centre.
I enter through your dreams,
    where you're weak,
and where I'm clean of inhibitions.

I'm killing this body, this prison of flesh,
this heart and this head that you loved-- put to rest,
but I'll see you in sleep,
where I'm perfect.

 What I know is that I love you more than life itself

 and the world can't hold nothing against me

except for that.

Burning out

 I've put myself on fire for you

You blew me away

Blown off far away

And I died

Because you killed me

For you

Unimportant and disposable

Just like trash can from homeless

Burning away

 Sometimes I wonder if you ever wished I was dead. 

It's okay. I understand. You are and have been the only one since, for everything. 

 I still feel like crying when I think of killing myself, but maybe one day I won't feel it anymore.

 My heart skips a beat when I see you. I think you are killing me slowly just by looking at me.