I am in love with you

Like the songs are loved by birds

And the sunsets are the sea's lovers

Book

If you want my book "To Love" : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WYVJQQ2/

 Funny, I thought of me dying and what came to my mind last was you, probably because of us dating for so many years. 

I don't even know who I loved more in this life but you were the one I loved and was with for the longest time. 

 It is much easier to say goodbye when someone dies, when you already said goodbye before.

 Sometimes I really regret crossing path with you, I should've stayed put like I was, self-ostracized like I made myself for so long, not dragging anyone into my death. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I never meant for anyone to suffer more. 

Now that I'm dying...

 ... I'm just glad for you that I loved more than life and that we're apart, because it's made for you not to suffer as you would if you still liked me very much. But on the other hand I'm just angry I had no good chance in this life of having good conditions to even see what I would choose if I was given the opportunity to do it. 

I have loved you so fucking much. I am sorry I wasn't the one for you and you weren't the one I thought you were. I am sorry that no one was. It is true, life does suck, it sucked me dry, and then you die.

It was just a dream

 We held each other today...

But it was just a dream

That made me hope

You would be better today

Now I miss you even more.

If you don't love me

 If you do not love me anymore, you should tell me, though hearing the words is the most painful thing in the world and last time (and only time) I heard them I also heard my heart break. 

Should I tell you?

 You have no idea of how much I love you, otherwise you would probably start existing. I don't know if I should tell you. 

 This long-time depression is killing me too.