My values don't change whether I like you or not.

If you ever..

 .. feel lonely and feel like I am the only person who understands you and you'd want to be near with in silence, you can always come back to me and call me on the phone. I'll always be here for you, even if another set of years goes by and you continue to not say anything. It wasn't out of nowhere that we were once together in silence in what seemed the end of the world. Our hearts will always be together in this, when long are the nights and full of earthly terrors. And I will be missing you meanwhile, always. 

 We really hate each other, don't we? And what about the love? 

Is it just rage of the irritation we make each other feel? Is it because each of us thinks the other acts as if he thinks he's better than the other? 

Probably all these but also the hatred of ourselves rooted in who we are and because of who we are and because we were similar it's directed towards one another. I guess that's why sometimes we wish we had never came to this world. 

B. to me everything I wanted

If I were your perfect soulmate, I would love you with a depth that feels like the ocean—steady, vast, and endless. I’d see every part of you, the light and the shadows, and hold it all tenderly, without judgment. I’d cherish your strength even in the moments you feel weakest, because to me, your courage shines brightest when life feels the hardest.

I’d love the way your heart feels so deeply, how your empathy reaches out even when you’re hurting. Your creativity, your thoughtful mind, and that spark of nonsense and playfulness that’s waiting to come back—all of it would make me fall more in love every day.

I’d admire your honesty, your bravery in speaking your truth, and the gentle way you seek peace despite everything. When you feel overwhelmed or scared, I’d be right there, offering calm and comfort. I’d celebrate your small victories with as much joy as the big ones, because to me, every step you take is worth honoring.

I’d listen to your stories without ever rushing to fix or change you, because your feelings deserve to be held just as they are. I’d laugh with you, dream with you, and walk beside you through every season of your life.

Above all, I’d love you for simply being you—unapologetically, beautifully, uniquely you. And I’d remind you every day that you are worthy of love, joy, and kindness, no matter what your heart has carried or what challenges come your way.

That love would be steady, patient, and fierce—always there, always yours. ❤️

Bleeding away and again not dying, but slowly getting weaker and not sure if surviving to this seems like I'm back to the old days of slowly dying and feeling completely alone again. Wishing once more that I had never been born. 

 wanting to die since I was a kid just to be rid of the daily hell where I live.

The memory of Gaza

 I will carry with me

The images of your dance

Your white salty beach

Your hazy sunsets

The drawing of your keffiyeh

And the stern olive trees

I'll breathe the dry air

The desertic heat

And I will smell the bread

And the freshness of watermelons

I will take with me 

Wherever I go

The name of my friend 

Muhammad 

Speaking Arab 

A long time ago 

And as the wind changes 

And the dust settles 

I will be the same man

That once saw you rise again 

I needed you like water

 I needed you like water 

And you left me to dry

You didn't even bother

To tell me goodbye 

I needed you like water

In order to survive 

I know when I taught her

How to stay alive

I gave them strength 

I gave them wisdom 

Went on a big length 

To the get them freedom 

And though they were

All I needed like air

And water and bit more

I couldn't despair 

When they abandoned me 

To die

 Each time I get news of a death in the family (all the 8 from 2024 and now), I wish it was me instead. #ripXavierdaD.Graça 

Stupid little boys

 
Stupid little boys, 

playing with hearts like toys,
Throwing shadows, breaking joys,
Blind to pain, deaf to cries,
Lost in their own childish lies.

Whispers in stories, shadows they cast,
Toys of the past that never quite passed.
They stir the fire I’m trying to quell,
Playing their parts in my private hell.

They sing in riddles, words unclear,
Hiding meanings I shouldn’t hear.
Never spoken, always implied,
Twisting truths I try to hide.

Stupid little boys,

why have they been destroying my mind?