Tuesday, 9 March 2010

The torture of disappointment

How much disappointment can one sustain, until the burst into a bitterness too great to be extinguished?
I don't know. I just wanted not to become a bitter person, like the women that complain everyday about everything and blame their kin for all of bad that happens.

But I've realized everyone is tortured somehow, throughout their lives. Once, and then again, a drop of blood, just to remind them they're alive.

It's normal to initially expect things from life and as we stroll along its strange paths, we experience that the reality of things isn't quite what we expected and even made an effort for. That's where disappointment comes in. In fact, it crawls in, not announcing its presence, and simply amounting itself inside our hopeful and fragile human hearts. And each time it does, it's like a whiplash in our souls. Soon it becomes like a cat o'nine tails in our back, flogging us without any mercy. And yet, we do not learn how to not expect anything, not desire anything better, not dream or hope for anything else.
There's even the prejudice that being pessimist or too down to earth is bad, and that no matter what, you have to think positive: "smile to life, so that life smiles you back". All this hurts even more, especially when you are not aloud to be sad, to be in woe and everyone just wants to force you to put on a advertisement smile.

Corrupts my loins, making me sick, to hear all this. What the hell does anyone know about someone else's tortured soul?

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