Love of my life

 Lately I have been asking the heavens for you to tell me that you love me... and I guess you kind of did, but not exactly to me. 

Anyway, you already know I have and will always love you and be there for you taking care as I can. 

Love of my life, no matter.

 I can't tell you I fell in love with you...

 If you only knew how I suffered just to make it all so that you would be happy...

Player

 He's just playing with your heart. Don't forget it.

The state of the world

 It makes me cry when I think of the state of the world.

I've never been in love before - Frank Loesser - Chet Baker - Laufey

 I've never been in love before

Now all at once it's you
It's you for evermore
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine
It's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive
This helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before

But this is wine
It's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive
This helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before

 I can't live in a world like this and without having conditions to make anything better and useful. So if the adrenal cortex pill I mean to try goes sideways I just hope my death won't hurt me much. 

 But true love like this lasts forever.

 I don't want to love you anymore.

 I'm in love with you

And I want you

Entirely for myself

A nightmare of life

 #canteatwhatiwant #cantlovewhoiwant #cantsleepwhenineed #donthaveahome #donthaveawc #donthavelove #donthavefamily #donthavesupport #donthaveanything #donthavefriends #donthaveanyone #onlypainandviolence #iwishineverbeenborn #thousandtrauma 

People in general

 You shouldn't count on children or adults for anything at all.

 If you ever loved me you'll want me and no one else will do but me and you'll fight against even death to be with me always.

 The thing that hurt me more was you going away and never caring anymore to know how I am, just abandoned me like everyone else who left me while I'm sick and suffering so much. And I always let you go, because I think it would make you suffer to know I am unwell and you're never here. 

Despots don't raise themselves alone

 All my life I have been suffering from violence of a despotic person that I couldn't ever have the means to get myself rid of. 

Among all the aches, illnesses and all that it has caused me there is always this ever returning feeling of wanting to die because of it. 

Many times I thought I couldn't hang in anymore. All the racism, homophobia, amid the domestic violence, has made me feel that want so desperate, to cut my wrists or blow my brains with a shot, though I wouldn't do it for the lack of courage. So each time a maniac politician prone to genocide is in power you can imagine what it feels like for me. All my life I hated dictators. It only made me slowly rot, because they are always there and striving. And I hate them. 

 "No one is supposed to be with anyone"