Ode to perfection

 I thought it was nice that the Brazilian singer-songwriter Chico Bernardes made a beautiful song called "Ode à perfeição", like if there was actually perfection. I find it equally moving when people have faith in gods. 

Then I thought, of course, of little perfections I might find and many things are perfect for so many people. And there are the big things. The wide out moments. Or just some peaceful moments when I didn't feel like a zombie and that nothing had meaning, because someone had just died.

It's also hard to get a measure of perfection.

Given the circumstances, moments are sometimes cooked up with every ingredient feeling right, like of it was meant to be. 

Porcelain - Moby

 In my dreams I'm dying all the time

As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind

I never meant to hurt you

I never meant to lie

So this is goodbye

This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me

Tell me

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time

As I wake I'm going out of my mind

Going out of my mind

Nothing as it seems - Pearl Jam

 Don't feel like home,.. he's a little out...

And all these words elope,.. it's nothing like your poem...

Putting in,.. inputting in,.. don't feel like methadone...

Scratching voice.. all alone,.. it's nothing like your baritone

It's nothing as it seems,.. the little that he needs,. it's home

The little that he sees,.. is nothing. He concedes,.. it's home

One uninvited chromosome,.. a blanket like the ozone.

It's nothing as it seems, all that he needs,. it's home...

The little that he frees,.. is nothing, he believes...

Saving up a sunny day,.. something maybe two tone...

Anything of his own,.. a chip off the cornerstone...

Who's kidding, rainy day,...one way ticket headstone...

Occupations overthrown,.. a whisper thru a megaphone...

It's nothing as it seems,... the little that he needs,... it's home

The little that he sees, ..is nothing. He concedes,. it's home...

And all that he frees,... a little bittersweet,.. it's home...

It's nothing as it seems,.. the little that you see,.. it's home...

So please forgive the state I've been

 I was thinking if there was anything in this life of so much suffering and violence that would make it worth it. Then immediately you came to my mind singing this incredibly beautifully, those first words, the gravity and emotion in your voice, the way it hit so hard back then. (though it was probably about her, I would give it all to be me in that moment - how could you do it? nevermind. I know, I understand, I made it too and I guess there wasn't anything I could do that would make you choose me for you forever more)

You were indeed the love of my life, even if you never existed like I thought you did. The most out of this world feeling I ever had and that will never have a true explanation one can rationalize about. If only it was our true love felt, immeasurable and endless, like there was none before. I was just a fool to believe and sometimes I can't believe it was real. I love you, no matter. 

Senza fine

 There is an unique kind of love that due to its immensity is infinite. One love. The biggest of all. And you can feel it in the sky and everywhere around when it irradiates. Our hearts burst into bliss and tap into that strength and absolutely certainty and the faith that it has always been there. I love you. And I want you around forever. Even if for now it's just a streak in the sky. My one and only, forever. I keep on longing for one completely perfect day. Let it be. 💓

I'm a fool to want you - Frank Sinatra

 I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to want you
To want a love that can't be true
A love that's there for others too

I'm a fool to hold you
Such a fool to hold you
To seek a kiss not mine alone
To share a kiss the devil has known

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I had to say

I'm a fool to want you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I'd have to say

Take me back I love you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

(playing on the radio now. one of the ultimate heartbreak songs {I imagine it was from the Ava Gardner era too} 💔)

The halogen street lights

 I'm joining Daniel Knox 

In a kind of manifesto 

For the continuation 

Of the streets lights 

Of halogen 

I was supposed to do a poem 

But this is not

Impossible duets I wished to see

 Bob Marley and Amy Winehouse 

Nina Simone and Otis Redding 

Eddie Vedder and Kurts Cobain 

Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley 

Robin Williams and Jim Carey 

Heath Ledger and Keanu Reeves

True Love will find you in the end - Daniel Johnston

 True love will find you in the end

You'll find out just who was your friend

Don't be sad, I know you will

But don't give up until

True love will find you in the end

This is a promise with a catch

Only if you're looking can it find you

'Cause true love is searching too

But how can it recognize you

If you don't step out into the light, the light

Don't be sad I know you will

Don't give up until

True love will find you in the end

 "I fell for you like a child, oh but the fire went wild" 😐 

(ring of fire - Carter and Cash)

When the day is done

 When you were kind 

And I thought you were mine

I was out of my mind 

For the very first time

When I was sick

And you were it

My life was a blur

With nothing to lur

Why didn't you cut me out

Right away before too late

Now it's taking all these years

To heal and the love break

 I'm still waiting for you

to come on home 

take me on

..

In darkness we see/a

 It is in darkness that I see us better:

our faces cutout by the light 

showing our division

Our dive into the depths 

"you try your best

but your best ain't good enough 

You say your prayers 

but you always mess them up

and late at night you cry

you mourn the life"

Elvis, the pelvis

 you're the devil in disguise, oh yes you are, you're the devil in disguise, hmm hmm hmm hmm

(and the worse is that I like it 🤦🏽😐)

Insomnia by Keaton Henson

 Oh wait for me, I'll hold my teeth in

Don't panic so, I'm only bleeding

What has the daylight done for me but hurt my eyes
And the haunted 7-Eleven's open all night

I'm waking through my life
I'll make it up sometime

Who says you need to sleep
I'm giving up the night

Oh I don't wanna dream
When all I ever see
Is all the ways I let you down

The TV shows I love are all off-air
So I'll just watch the years rip out my hair

I don't know why I treat these demons like my friends
And the moon is making those faces at me again

I'm waking through my life
I'll make it up sometime

Who says you need to sleep
I'm giving up the night

Oh I don't wanna dream
When all I ever see
Is all the ways that I could die

A car alarm is screaming somewhere

The howling dark, a waking nightmare

Someone to sing me to sleep - sung by Salvador Sobral and Silvia Perez Cruz

 I can carry mountains

Their weight I have known

To sink on my shoulders

Sharp and burning stones

I have walked unbothered

Grief binding my feet

Crowning just another

Wound that never bleeds

But in the deep falling

Of this lone calling

I would bet all-in

For someone to sing me to sleep

I have held my sorrow

A million days on end

And time steals and borrows

But my knees won't bend

I've caved out the raindrops

From within the ground

And have fed the rivers

Till my fear could drawn

But in the deep falling

Of this lone calling

I would bet all-in

For someone to sing me to sleep

But in the deep falling

Of this lone calling

I would bet all-in

For someone to sing me to sleep

It's a life of the darkest black

If the thread cannot be traced back

To the songs that were sang for the love never bound

By the passing of time

Going deep and falling

Of this lone calling

I would bet all-in

For someone to sing me to sleep

But in the deep falling

Of this lone calling

I would bet all-in

For someone to sing me to sleep

For someone to sing me to sleep

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Lau Noah

I'm a fool to want you

 Tell me it's not me you seek deep inside everyday 

Tell me it isn't me who you would like it to stay 

I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to remember you

Every night and day

I'm a fool to love you

Even after all that happened yesterday 

My heart stumped upon 

So bruised, shattered and torn

Even since the start I knew it was wrong 

But 4 years have past and I can't get along

Because I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to need you

Even when I think it all went away

It comes triggered with any song I play 

Snd I'm an eternal fool for an inexistent you

(after movie Just one kiss and revisiting Sinatra's I'm a fool to want you)

 darkness is scary, but if you face it and shed light on it you may find that there's always some beauty that comes out of it, even if it's less than the ugliness. it's always up to you to gather all your reason and fight the drowning into the whirlwind of obscurity. to see things as they are you have to eliminate yourself from the equation and watch the movements of the happenings. it's removing the egotistical while the ego remains. and one day, after quite a while, processing in your temple of solitude, you may get to a state of understanding that you, darkness and light, are not only integrated but can coexist in peace. acceptance of what is, is the key. 

(in my insta with ceramic animals of Bordalo Pinheiro garden of the city museum pics with music Insonacion of Clara Peya)

Easy to Love

 Are you easy to love, dear?

Does your head bow to his will

And do you wait for him by the window sill

To wave goodbye when he leaves you

And when he returns just to eat you

Because there's really nothing more 

For you two of truth between you?

Can you live your life without her?

Yes, I know you can but you like her

So you think you make efforts 

Just to be with her sometimes 

You think it feels like paradise 

Even if it's hard it's always nice

To have your peaceful love time

One day out of the blue you finally realise 

All you did and all you thought 

Wasn't almost anything at all

Of what you always got 

Not from you and not from him

Nothing was quite what it seemed 

It was just a hope that ran dry 

The addiction to sad songs

There’s actually some research that suggests when we become "addicted" to a song, especially a sad one, it’s because of how our brains process emotions and seek patterns. When we listen to a song repeatedly, our brain can release dopamine, a "feel-good" neurotransmitter. Even though the song might be sad, it can trigger a sense of comfort or familiarity, which is why we crave listening to it again.

In terms of emotional processing, listening to a sad song can help us process feelings we may not be consciously addressing. Our brain may use the song as a way to work through unresolved emotions, especially if we associate the song with a meaningful moment or experience. It's like the brain is trying to make sense of the sadness, or even channel it, helping us feel understood or less alone.