You're

 you're my disease 

you're my damnation 

you're everything that was good

you're everything that I lost

you're the camp of my concentration 

you're my lack of judgement 

you're my every twist and toss

 Oh but it did start and it went awfully and ended, without even having a real chance of a true beginning.

To live and to die without you

 Doesn't it bother you to know we are all going to die? 

Yeah, but it bothers me even more to know we're alive and we never got to be together.

 Did you really not love me at all?

Artificial love

 I never wanted your artificial love 

I wanted more

A deep honest true faithful bond

That you're probably not even capable of

Abandonment

 I only abandon people after they have abandoned me, because I know they will do it again and I can't bare to go through it again nor do I have ever deserved such mistreatments.

Setting Sun - Pearl Jam

The cast was made to reset broken bones
But there's no such thing to fix a love gone wrong
Keep knocking the door 'cause I know someone's there
I wait on the porch hoping someday, I'll be let in
They say in the end everything will be okay
If it's not okay, well then, it ain't the end
Had dreams to you I would belong
Had the dream you would stay with me till kingdom come
Turns out forever has come and gone
Am I the only one hanging on?
Hand in hand, yeah, we took it on
You answered my prayers, now from my knees, I can't get up
Lost patience with time, yeah, hurry up your patience tonight
I'd like some of yours, in trade, can take all of mine
I dreamt to you I would belong
Held the dream you would stay with me till kingdom come
Turns out it was more like hit-and-run
Am I the only one hanging on?
Whoa, am I the only one hanging on?
If you could see what I see now
You'd find a way to stay somehow
Oh, if you could see, yeah, what I see now
You'd make your way to stay somehow
May your days be long till kingdom come
May our days be long before kingdom come
May our days be long until kingdom come
We can become one last setting Sun
Am I the only one hanging on?
We could become one last setting Sun
Or be the Sun at the break of dawn
Let us not fade
Let us not fade

In this life

 I feel that this life of mine, I'm only here to suffer as atonement for the previous life. Only pain and misery. Feels like I can't have anything more. 

You gave me life

 and then treated me so badly 

destroying me every time 

like if I was an enemy to kill

why?

I haven't had the will to live

because of you

all this time

All this time

 All this time, I've been wanting to forget you, to erase you from within me, because I feel that each time I am dooming me even more and all these bad things happening to my family feels like a continuation of you and all your friends bad energy towards me.

Please release me. I know that the person I love was only a little part of you. I've asked so many times to be free from all this, especially this illusion of certainty that we were true and that we were destined for time and time again. 

 "no coward soul is mine",

tell me my love, was it not each time our eyes met in the dark, risking the peril, the utmost delight, our glimpse of paradise? 

my mouth still hungers

for your promised last kiss 

each dawn that I wait

missing you like the rain

again

to ever caress my cheek 

the fields have grown tall

dancing in the wind

in tones of your green 

and I try to stay alive 

just to see the moon

one more time 

 I wish for something 

unnamed 

never spoken of

a kind of blizzard hurricane 

the interior of a volcano 

all the beauty of the seasons 

in extreme profoundness 

and a blank empty peace

The main reason I don't like people anymore

 it's not only because of the murderous, gross, disgusting and selfish beings that they are, but more specifically because one takes care of them, feeds them, cleans them, keeps them alive and safe, and then they shit on you, basically.

Love is a losing game

 Do you know any couple who hasn't one that bosses the other? I wish there was. I hate that pure love doesn't exist and it's all a game of power. I really thought true love existed. Turns out it never did.

 It just occurred to me that maybe all my friends are mostly psychologists and musicians because the first just want to study my craziness and the second just want to steal my poetry lololl

 I don't have to believe it, because if I really allow myself to think about I feel it, I know it, it's more present and palpable than anything (and that's why it's so overwhelming and I can't deal well with it all). 

How to react

 There's always an amount of choice on how you can react to pretty much everything, grab it, right on the first seconds and don't let it go.

unrepairable, is it?

 I try to look at the moon

but I didn't meet her these days

the sky has been red with the pain

my heart has been aching at the same

sometimes I think if it's still possible

for you to see me as I am

and still love me and return to me

even knowing that I'm still the same

with my absolutes and nothings

I think if you can ever forgive me

I think if you can ever forgive yourself

I think if you can come back to me

knowing that the only thing that matters

is the love we have

unrepairable, is it?

Too late

 People only realise what's important in life when their death arrives.

Take me to church

 If you depend in something to be a good person, then you're not a good person and you'll never become one.

 When you get to think about it, you just see as it's all a crazy fucking lunacy, everything there is, everything you did and everything you are.