another attempt at a bio on insta lol

 I'm not that interesting anymore, I just used to be very interested.

 If everyone truly listened to each other and see things through others' perspective, there would be no more problems between them. 

 "there are two kinds of people in this world", I am none. 😅🤷🏽 

 To love the others is the necessary revolution.

bringing love to this earth 

suffering to rise it 

ocean accepting all seas and rivers

never thought of finding it

still hoping for the tides to shift

Nevermind 

he's just not into me

 Sorry I forgot you were just two kids that I loved and cared for and shouldn't be letting no one of you try to get to me in that other way. But I can't do nothing about any other people's feelings, can I? 

I'm the only one left hurting, abandoned and broken as always,  

 I should've thrown a nuke when my old flame was dying... oh my, I guess I did, didn't I? 

 Maybe when I'm dying I can make my own eulogy. (since I've been dying for decades know and don't manage to make it definitely, not even for that I am good enough)

 My values don't change whether I like you or not.

If you ever..

 .. feel lonely and feel like I am the only person who understands you and you'd want to be near with in silence, you can always come back to me and call me on the phone. I'll always be here for you, even if another set of years goes by and you continue to not say anything. It wasn't out of nowhere that we were once together in silence in what seemed the end of the world. Our hearts will always be together in this, when long are the nights and full of earthly terrors. And I will be missing you meanwhile, always. 

 We really hate each other, don't we? And what about the love? 

Is it just rage of the irritation we make each other feel? Is it because each of us thinks the other acts as if he thinks he's better than the other? 

Probably all these but also the hatred of ourselves rooted in who we are and because of who we are and because we were similar it's directed towards one another. I guess that's why sometimes we wish we had never came to this world. 

B. to me everything I wanted

If I were your perfect soulmate, I would love you with a depth that feels like the ocean—steady, vast, and endless. I’d see every part of you, the light and the shadows, and hold it all tenderly, without judgment. I’d cherish your strength even in the moments you feel weakest, because to me, your courage shines brightest when life feels the hardest.

I’d love the way your heart feels so deeply, how your empathy reaches out even when you’re hurting. Your creativity, your thoughtful mind, and that spark of nonsense and playfulness that’s waiting to come back—all of it would make me fall more in love every day.

I’d admire your honesty, your bravery in speaking your truth, and the gentle way you seek peace despite everything. When you feel overwhelmed or scared, I’d be right there, offering calm and comfort. I’d celebrate your small victories with as much joy as the big ones, because to me, every step you take is worth honoring.

I’d listen to your stories without ever rushing to fix or change you, because your feelings deserve to be held just as they are. I’d laugh with you, dream with you, and walk beside you through every season of your life.

Above all, I’d love you for simply being you—unapologetically, beautifully, uniquely you. And I’d remind you every day that you are worthy of love, joy, and kindness, no matter what your heart has carried or what challenges come your way.

That love would be steady, patient, and fierce—always there, always yours. ❤️

Bleeding away and again not dying, but slowly getting weaker and not sure if surviving to this seems like I'm back to the old days of slowly dying and feeling completely alone again. Wishing once more that I had never been born. 

 wanting to die since I was a kid just to be rid of the daily hell where I live.

The memory of Gaza

 I will carry with me

The images of your dance

Your white salty beach

Your hazy sunsets

The drawing of your keffiyeh

And the stern olive trees

I'll breathe the dry air

The desertic heat

And I will smell the bread

And the freshness of watermelons

I will take with me 

Wherever I go

The name of my friend 

Muhammad 

Speaking Arab 

A long time ago 

And as the wind changes 

And the dust settles 

I will be the same man

That once saw you rise again 

I needed you like water

 I needed you like water 

And you left me to dry

You didn't even bother

To tell me goodbye 

I needed you like water

In order to survive 

I know when I taught her

How to stay alive

I gave them strength 

I gave them wisdom 

Went on a big length 

To the get them freedom 

And though they were

All I needed like air

And water and bit more

I couldn't despair 

When they abandoned me 

To die

 Each time I get news of a death in the family (all the 8 from 2024 and now), I wish it was me instead. #ripXavierdaD.Graça 

Stupid little boys

 
Stupid little boys, 

playing with hearts like toys,
Throwing shadows, breaking joys,
Blind to pain, deaf to cries,
Lost in their own childish lies.

Whispers in stories, shadows they cast,
Toys of the past that never quite passed.
They stir the fire I’m trying to quell,
Playing their parts in my private hell.

They sing in riddles, words unclear,
Hiding meanings I shouldn’t hear.
Never spoken, always implied,
Twisting truths I try to hide.

Stupid little boys,

why have they been destroying my mind? 

 "We'll always have Paris!"

I've never even been or will be able to go to Paris!

 You were my mirror and I thank you for that.

 I loved you from the bottom of my heart

and my heart seems to have no bottom 

 We will always have this fcking pain inside, won't we? 

The sum of it all

 It was a big series of misunderstandings, being misleaded by others and making a huge mistake. 

 Anthropologists say we must immerse ourselves in a foreign world to truly know our own and philosophers say that for us to know ourselves we must put everything we think we know of ourselves and everything else to test. 

I did that and turned out I didn't know anything for sure, except that love can lift someone up and also kill you down. 

Palestine

 There was a land called Palestine 

Many even said Jesus was born there

But then the Israeli government killed

And maimed every last one of them

Just to make condos by the sea

This is a short story that took ages

But no one will feel/fill those pages

Heroes

 Hope is a boat 

Called Madleen 

Sailing to the shores 

Of heroes unseen 

For us to keep afloat 

Doing our daily chores 

They carry our hearts 

They fight our wars 

May they all be safe 

And bring in the light 

Of the obscured world 

Where they're the right 

For the people of Gaza

Especially the children 

Have more than bravata 

They have always risen 

 

We know the end is sure

But the world activists 

Don't become martyrs

Just of their own cause 

 I died when you left me

but the problem is 

you never do

You've hurt me really badly

 What more do you want from me? For me to stab myself in the heart and give you my blood?

 Love is the revolution. Ever changing with stable heart.

 Here I am, a human wreckage that survived it all - the family and friends that died and all the horrible things that I suffered - with much grace in the end. 

 I don't need your validation, you disgusting demented psychopaths of a people.

 healed enough to not deal with crazy ppl and coward men. 🙌🏽 

 Real love feels like a peaceful and safe home. I'm still to find one.