Many women and men I met throughout my life have been lost, and also not knowing who they are for themselves and for others. And because they hadn't the good fortune of having a place to call HOME since young, they didn't truly get to know what it meant to feel loved, to love and they couldn't develop stability. Many roam in this world carrying with them this feeling still ("you can run but you can't hide from yourself), but one or two - rare cases - have decided to make a home for them and they manage to built them with the love of someone else. I'm so very glad for these last.
But for the others - the majority -, though it seems your whole life was already defined and that's what it will always be, precisely for the lack of that "home stability" foundations, I really wish you can find a way, or better yet, decide to build it in this one life you have. May you surpass it all and get to make this change, to find a way, to fight for it, to have a passion and getting to the top of that mountain.

A love greater than everything has the measure of impossibility.

a tattoo that scars your skin is nothing compared to the tattoo made within
deep in your soul there's a tattoo of your love
and in mine lays an open wound

taken aback
don't let them see
don't let them know

again and again
they're all the same
and you're always the same
so nothing good will come

I am filled with scars that never got to feel the wounds
Have I lived enough?
Have my body and mind felt the earthly pleasures and pains?
What is to live enough?

I am a shadow of myself
wandering through life like if it was a forgotten movie
deff and made in black and white
with sudden and rare flashes of colour

Have you mistaken me for someone else?
You probably did.

Being ethical and having principles doesn't give any fruits in this life and this world, but in the long-term it amounts to what defines you and is fruitful for your conscience as you know you've been faithful to what you believe in and no one can take that away from you.

solitude is the temple where I grow 
and loneliness is the guillotine where my life flashes back

Another death of me and they kill me

Being completely destroyed weighs inside like shattered steel that cuts constantly.
The only thing positive about having a depression is that it takes the stress and the stiffness of the body when under pressure.

“You scullion. You rampallian. You fustilarian. I’ll tickle your catastrophe.” 
Falstaff, Henry IV part I; Act 2, Scene 2 - William Shakespeare

“Sit still with me in the shade of these green trees, which have no weightier thought than the withering of their leaves when autumn arrives, or the stretching of their many stiff fingers into the cold sky of the passing winter. Sit still with me and meditate on how useless effort is, how alien the will, and on how our very meditation is no more useful than effort, and no more our own than the will. Meditate too on how a life that wants nothing can have no weight in the flux of things, but a life that wants everything can likewise have no weight in the flux of things, since it cannot obtain everything, and to obtain less than everything is not worthy of souls that seek the truth.” 
― Fernando Pessoa, The Education Of The Stoic,

“There is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one's idea for thirty-five years; there's something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas.” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot