How long for will we hang on?

 For how long can we pretend we're not suffocating?
The air gets denser, my lungs shrink, my heart is too fast
I can't breath anymore when I acknowledge the truth
I see  you going crazy all over again depressed
Trying to do what you must do
Me too, I try, sometimes I really do, 
But it's not long before I fall into that absolute sadness
Of knowing we're not able to be close physically
And that it is all too much for me to even to think of it
I couldn't probably bear it, my body would collapse,
but I still imagine us, holding each other 
and slowly pretend a dance just to be glued 

I love you my darling being,
tears come to my eyes when I think of how much
And how I longed for our embrace

You're the girl with the lost soul that found mine
And you're the boy with the dark soul that is like mine.

 I don't think I'm gonna make it, can't live like this, it's been too long, too much, and I'll never see you near, it's all so pointless... What's the use of feeling all that I felt if I can't even see you all?

 Where are you now? Are you happy? 

Little Beloved Monsters

 You're trying too hard, but she can't love you. Not really, ever. We're little monsters, you and I. No one can truly love us, because no one can really know us. 

Reality

The man I'm in love with exists only in my thoughts as an imagined perfect character, as the person who is utterly in love with me too and we get to swing slowly so warmly together in the most satisfying and best thing in the whole wide world that is us holding each other. Simple as that. And it's enough to numb the pain of deaths and dying.
Wouldn't it be nice? 
But reality is much different.

The strongest fucking thing

 It's too strong, the strongest thing, the connection, and it seems endless and unbreakable (even face the worst and the bad things), it's not physical, it's so much beyond. It is what it is, nothing can be done.

And as for the one who used to be my person and I his, just as he said this morning, it's just like "forever friends".

 I should've learned that no good deed goes by unpunished, in my case. Being a robin hood at 16, employing myself at macdonald's and giving more food hidden in happy meals boxes for poor kids made me catch a virus and have sequels till today... so I should've learned by then goddammit! LOL :/

 I forgot how beautiful the world can be, its halo of light bathing flowers and trees, the warm breeze and the dancing wind. 

I forgot how beautiful life is. 

I gave you

 I gave you hope when you asked me

I gave you life when you were killing me

I gave you strife when you needed me to

I gave you scope when you begged me to

 It's almost funny how I was so loved through songs, about two decades ago, and now was so hated and insulted through them.