Your heart is my home and with you I'm never homeless.

I am a pirate

What is happening to me?

I am the dried earth of the Past,
I starve for water to fill the cracks in my skin;
I will rule upon thirst,
I will be the victor of no man's land,
not even my own.

My face has become hardened
and I can no longer tell if the sun
with all its glory
can regenerate me or destroy me
or do nothing at all.

I am the pirate of my own ship
and I dwell in what I've stolen
for years and years
from all the little women
and all the mighty men.

Roaming alone for centuries
generation after generation
my fate has become one
my woes have stormed
causing thunders to strike me
with every step I take.

I despise the sea and all the creatures
for I am the damned one
I am the cursed starfish
that is fated to be shredded and put together
thousands of times as the waves come and go.

I will crawl on the sand eternally
always struggling to not sink
in its moving miseries
and wet surroundings
And I shall not surrender
because I'm doomed to it
and this is who I am.

I am the pirate
the one whose hair and beard is long
and the temper and patience is short.

A love from the heart

Are you blind?
Can't you see me stitching the wounds
as you come by and make fresh ones?
In my heart. In my mind.
And had I a soul and it would need replacement!

I can't carry on as we are
Everloving and not at all,
it's just too schizophrenic for me.

The first time you smiled I knew I was lost
and the first time you made me laugh
I knew I was found.

Well I don't care anymore,
I love you with all your madness
and I'll lick the stitches out of your heart
till they are invisible to the naked body.

The hole

I have the darkest hole in me.
The kind that burns the fire
and wets the water
and drowns the oceans
and twinkles the stars.

No rain will ever fill it,
no sun will shine on it,
though it has no bottom
and though it is wide open
it's not in my soul,
it's not in my heart,
it's not in my body,
for the hole is me.

The Suffering

To be denied of the basic needs: to not be able to sleep, to rest, to eat, to feel joy and pleasure in life. These are the biggest torments that one faces. It's the living hell. I grieve and the suffering has no measure, no limit and no end at sight.

Life is a constant battle from which we always leave defeated no matter how well we fought. 

Where do emotions go?

When emotions go to places they stay there.
And when we visit them - places and emotions - there they are.

Carry your emotions in the pocket of your heart
and let them be confortably hugged by the warmth
that they originally had when they were born.

Then try to keep them close to you
just in hand, just there at reach
so that whenever you need them
you can always find them.

Because if you don't pay close attention
they'll runaway as independent and lost
as some alley cat who never had a home,
and then you will have a faint idea of all of your loss
but there won't be anything you can do.

I have fought all my life to find the balance, guiding myself through the saying of "virtus in medium est", and yet here I am lost in the middle in between nowhere. 

Enchiridion, by Epictetus

... The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed. 

being a better human,
a better human being,
human being a better,
a human being better