I've been loving you for so long

 I've been loving you for so long and it seems that time hasn't been gone at all, years and years, all this omnipresent urgency feeling you, embracing you, having you completely inside me as part of every cell in my frail body. 

I could never hang on in our encounter, could I? I would die at the exact moment that my eyes would see you come in my direction. You're everything to me, more than life and death itself, you're time and existence and all there is and will ever be. 

Nothing can be without you and if I have let myself go it was probably because of the love I always felt for you and the impossibity of having you. So I caved surprisingly to a similar amount of affection that was near to me and you, as if somehow all the love I have been feeling for you three all these years could be expressed and materialized for some instants. 

Again I fought it all, but let myself go on the last moment, in a sudden way just to get it through. And though I survived the moment, I feel it was a defeat, most of it. You were right when once you said that that's life when people meet and then they will even miss people more. I had been loving and missing you three for so long that I even had to do a kind of "detox" and now I am just used to miss you and to hurt.

You see, you all got so many people that are priorities to you and that you love and miss much more than you can love or miss me. Well, and you especifically hate me, so, you don't count in this example. 

Anyway, I love you and I miss like always, since always, there's nothing more I can do but continue to admit this and that I am just this fool that did everything wrong.