Nothing Woman

Take away the dreams
relentless and in spiral
decaying
that once could feed someone

Now remaining fears
stumbling
Once I could find myself
hear the sound of my tears
and know the taste of my dreams
that once could feed someone

Some things can't be undone
and when they're too many
it's a sign that it's too late

Nothing Woman. Wasn't she something?

Colors of the rainbow in each memory
and still the emptiness of black & white pictures

Wasn't she something? Nothing Woman

I slept with the enemy and didn’t survive.

It was a Spring morning and the sun was shining shy up in the sky.

I held his face between my hands and it fell warm and magnetic. Such magnetism makes you get lost in the most damned fantasies and dreams.

We were in deep darkness and I couldn’t see his face that well, but I knew who he was. I’ve had already known for a long time and still it made no difference at all.

Later in time I met his child and he kept entering my dreams in the night, now his child was there too. He was my antichrist, my antistar, my eternal darkness and his child was a lost bliss for me.

He came to me one day apologizing, offering help, but he’s request for forgiveness was far from the real redemption. He had a chance, unlike before, to achieve real redemption but he didn’t know how to accept it, he couldn’t possibly be that light in his spirit or in his soul or even in his mind. He never knew what to do with himself. I was just part of what he never knew about himself. Just a way of running from the other memories he made for himself. I don’t know if he will ever surpass this condition of ignorance about himself, and even if he does, I don’t know if he will know how to live with his true self.

I wish he could be that strong and brave for once, I wish he really wanted to be happy as he could be.
One day maybe the sky will stop showing so much pain and we’ll stop hurting with all this happenings that belong in the past. Maybe that day we’ll start being faithful to our promises and never give up on one another. I don’t know if it is possible, due to our human nature, to settle with what is given to us, I wish it would be, because I think things would be much more simple and therefore cause less pain. Maybe one day we’ll reach the real knowledge of accepting things how they are when they can’t be changed, change the things that need to be changed and above all, know how to distinguish them.

Meanwhile, I hope he feels inside the love that I felt for him all my life.

Pearl Jam - IMMORTALITY

Vacate is the word...vengeance has no place so near to her
Cannot find the comfort in this world
Artificial tear...vessel stabbed...next up, volunteers
Vulnerable, wisdom can't adhere...

A truant finds home...and I wish to hold on...
But there's a trapdoor in the sun...immortality...

As privileged as a whore...victims in demand for public show
Swept out through the cracks beneath the door
Holier than thou, how?
Surrendered...executed anyhow
Scrawl dissolved, cigar box on the floor...

A truant finds home...and I wish to hold on, too...
But saw the trapdoor in the sun...

Immortality...
I cannot stop the thought...I'm running in the dark...
Coming up a which way sign...all good truants must decide...
Oh, stripped and sold, mom...auctioned forearm...
And whiskers in the sink...
Truants move on...cannot stay long
Some die just to live...
Ohh...

(song said to be written inspired on Kurt Cobain, after his suicide)

I'M MISSING THE STILLNESS OF YOUR EYES
THAT WHISPERED TO ME: “EVERYTHING’S OK.”
ANYWAY, WHEREVER YOU ARE NOW
WHEREVER YOU WILL GO, I ‘LL CRY ALWAYS
‘CAUSE I KNOW DEEP INSIDE IT'S EMPTY
AND THAT LIFE WAS ALWAYS SO MUCH EASIER
WHEN YOU WERE IN ME, JUST BEING BY MY SIDE.

APART, WE HAVE BEEN HAVING DARKNESS,
WE’RE ALWAYS BEING NOTHING BUT STONES,
HOWEVER, ONCE TOGETHER WE HAD LIGHT
AND WE WERE BEING NOTHING BUT STARS.
MY RAINY DAYS JUST KEEP COMING ABOVE ME
AND MY SOUL REMAINS IN PURE GRIEF
WHEN I SMILE DESPERATELY AMONG PEOPLE.

IT ISN’T FAIR TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE BREATHING,
THAT YOU’RE UNDER THE SAME SCARLET SKY,
ALL THAT WHENEVER YOU’RE NOT MINE
AND MY SPIRIT MOVES YOUR SOUL DRAGGING IT
‘CAUSE I'M TRYING TO FIND AN ANSWER
TO WHAT REMAINED FLOATING IN THE THIN AIR
IT’S NOTHING BUT WHAT THERE’S NOW BETWEEN US.

LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE WATER FLOOD
WHERE YOU CAN WASH AWAY YOUR TEARS
IF YOU TELL ME: “IT’S BETTER NOW”
I’LL JUST GIVE AWAY FOR YOU MY FEARS.

I CAN HEAR THE SILENCE OF THE WATER
CAN YOU WASH AWAY MY PAIN AND GRIEF?
I BELIEVE, DESPITE ALL YOU TAUGHT HER,
SHE WILL REMAIN ALWAYS THE BIG THIEF.

CAN YOU FIND ME A MAGNIFICENT WILLOW
SO THAT I CAN LAY DOWN IN THE SHADOW?
WE’ LL SPEND ALL OUR LIFES FAR AWAY
AND YOU’LL SEE THAT IT’S JUST LIKE I SAY.

TEARS IN THE RAIN

AS THEY FALL GENTLY FROM MY FACE
IN THIS STRANGE MUTE RITUAL
INVOLVED IN SWEET FRAGRANCES
OF MY PAIN MELT IN SORROW DUST,
MY LIQUID WOE GETS WITH THE RAIN
AND THEY BECOME SO BEAUTIFULLY ONE.

MY WORLD FADES AWAY SLOWLY
IN THE SILENCED MUSIC OF LOVE
THAT MY ONE TEARS IN THE RAIN
PRODUCED FROM PAIN AND HURT
CONCEIVE ART, RESUMED POETRY
IN MY TORMENTED MELANCHOLY.

(inspired on the song "Tears in the rain" of Joe Satriani)

A SONG OF NOTHING

SOMETIMES I FEEL SO TIRED
MY BODY FALLS IN DEEP SLEEP
LOVE TO STAY IN BED
IT’S NOT WILLING TO LEAVE ME NOW
AND THEN THE WORLD CLOSES DOWN
AND THE DREAMS COME RISING IN
SOMEWHERE TODAY...
SOMEWHERE TODAY...
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO SAD
MY BODY IS PUSHED INTO A HOLE
LOVE TO STAY IN BED
IT’S NOT WILLING TO LEAVE ME NOW
AND THEN THE WORLD FALLS APPART
AND THE DREAMS ARE BROKEN DOWN
SOMEWHERE TODAY...
SOMEWHERE TODAY...

NINA AND DARK ANGEL...

FATE TORE US APPART
AND IN THAT SAME MOMENT
SHATTERED MY WHOLE BODY,
AS MY SOUL WAS ALSO TORN
IT WAS ALL CHANGED INTO STARS
TINY LITTLE DUSTY SKY LIGHTS.
THEN ALL HUMAN PEOPLE DOWN
ON EARTH, WATCHING STUNNED,
DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THE SUN;
SO AS I DIED, KILLED BY LOVE
NIGHT TOOK PLACE IN THE WORLD
AND EVERYONE PRAISED MY LOVE,
CAUSE OF MY TORN BODY AND SOUL.

concerning:«SLEEPING BEAUTY»;“EROS & PSYCHE”;«SNOW-WHITE»;«TRISTAN & ISOLDA»

VERSIONS TURNED TO:
“ NINA & DARK ANGEL”

I.
In my chest lays the darkest crow
And in my soul nothing but grief
Chafing my body into its visceral parts.
Once, I were like you, Almighty,
Till I fell asleep by the hands of God,
Drunk with an erotic chemical,
Destined to deep coma until the one,
The One, Almighty, would come with the cure.

AND SO IT HAPPENED...

Lightened by a candle’s fragile flame,
Involved with sour scents of old roses,
Like death was to be unraveled,
You touched me like no one ever did:
Your kiss in my lips bringing me life;
The bursting chest full of joy filling me,
The strength of pure and flawless love
Awoken me up from my silenced self.

YOU FOUND YOURSELF OUT OF YOU...

II.
Once, you suddenly left me to sorrow;
Nor you or I have ever understood it
But I believe you drunk a liquor
Of Evil an Darkness of this world
By the hands of the Devil unlike myself
And then, led to believe that everything,
Every little thing between us was dead,
As you left saying your Love was gone.

AND THIS IS THE ETERNAL UNDEFINED PRESENT...

In my chest the most scarlet rose died
And the darkest crow was tattooed,
Which turned my life to nothing but emptiness;
As all my world became black and ugly
And my heart ripped from me was drained,
The sky fell on my tumulted thought,
I felt the circle closed and me complete,
But it was just with pain, forever...

IT WAS JUST THE CROW CARRYING IT ALL ...

A Nightmare

NIGHT-MARE

STILLBORN OFFSPRING
SCREAMS OF DESPAIR
PAIN CHOCKING
CARBONIZED HAIR

SCREAMING GLASS
BURSTING TIERS
COSMIC TEARS
FEAR DESIRES

BLAZING BODIES
MIDNIGHT STORIES
COUNTING CROWS
SHACKLING CHAINS

MYSTERIOUS HANDS
BLEEDING THROATS
ENORMOUS EYES
HEAD THAT FLOATS

SWEATING BONES
CALLING CLAYS
CRAZY STONES
SHOOTING WORDS

CRYING WOLVES
EROTIC ALCHEMIES
VAMPIRED BATS
SLAUGHTER ENEMIES