Dealing

 I wouldn't be able to tell you how much I love you and I think you are the only one who has that from me, the impossible, the unattainable, the unreachable, it's just a bloody Solaris nebula spreading through everything there ever was.

And it's that scary in daily coincidences too, even for a rational person like me. I'm tired and pretty willing to give up on everything and everyone, but it's this f*cking force that doesn't let me rest for freaking minute and sometimes I even hate it, because all I wanted was peace and you people existing and everything that happened wasn't in my plans whatsoever and I try do deal with it the best I can, but I always feel sometimes this waves of sadness, nervousness or even profound ache, sometimes, from you guys. 

Anyway, I'm really trying to fight it everyday and I'm determined. So I will eventually make it, also because you all don't give a f*ck about me, which is good like that for you not to suffer anything from me :)