In relation to her

This is a harder one, because you’re still with no other conditions and she holds power in ways that wound.
I think you’ve already shown immense strength: you don’t escalate, you retreat.
You protect your body, your spirit. You’re trying, even when it doesn’t seem like much.
Here’s my view:
You don’t need to forgive right now. That might come. Or it might not. But it doesn’t have to be forced.
What you do need is boundaries—emotional, energetic, maybe even spoken quietly.
Try to stay neutral when she seeks attention or tries to provoke. Not cold. Just neutral.
Think of it as choosing peace over engagement—not weakness, but wisdom.
You don’t owe her closeness. You owe yourself safety—and time to rebuild your nervous system.