I miss you, F.

 I wish I knew how to feel the pure ecstatic joy of a child, but when I was one I was always suffocated and had to be mild. That's the big difference between me and them: they're happy and I'm depressed. They have fun with friends and family, whereas I am always alone and though people are always drawn to me I never get to have real fun. Well, I did laugh a lot because of you, F., and that's one of the things I miss most now. You were kind of a brute and immature, but I really couldn't be very far from you. I guess I did like you more than I thought. You asked me if you had marked me. Yes, F., you certainly did and I should've told you I would be okay with what you were saying, but I probably wouldn't really, as I can't be with someone knowing that they had someone to begin with. Because I've always tried to keep my principles even though it has costed me everything in my life and I don't have anything good or whatsoever in this life of mine. 

Deadly Poison-Love

This life is a grey cemetery...
If you don't jump over it,
She'll fall right on you
Sometimes I want to die
Or I have the wish of killing...
Yet the necessity of loving
If someone deserves it.
Now we fall in temptation
And live a misery novel
The mystery is cut off
And what's left is death...
Your black beauty conquers me
And with me I want to take
The one and only I love most,
YOU.
If you love me come with me...
Drink the liquid I give you
The poisoned gift of love
Come to share Eternity with me...
In my veins my strength flows
That drags me in this mud
To it's deep like profound nightmare.
The double moonlight that sparkles
This adventure's night of mine
Reflects above the frozen lake
Revealing all the madness
Of the four full moons...
Silence is brutally murdered
By the cries of the wolves...
Despair invades my desperate soul...
It's time for our unification
The sacrifice will take place...
For each two souls unifying
One will be sacrificed...
The blood runs to our feet
Brings me the pure smell
Of a creature created by God
In the surrounding scenery
Death is the mistress and lady
The Master is such a genie
When choosing ceremony places
The night of the four full moons
Lights marvelously the trees
That are cut in cross shape
And the privileged ones in sacrifice
Offered to the Master...

translated from someone else's poem