When I realised there's rigourously no one in this world for me, I felt that was kind of sad, but now I see that it is actually something good in the sense that afterwards for death I won't be losing anyone and no one will lose me, having to live without the love of our life (even if I felt it before). And I didn't even have the intention of transmutating anything. Just a more firm and complete realization, I guess.
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