Just a dream

 Do you ever remember your dreams? Was I ever in one of them? I dreamed of you in a fleeting moment of you going to catch a bus and before you had saxophone with you. This time you saw me and even told me some words. Something about that so many years have passed and maybe I could be scared still. And I was. Kind of didn't know what I was going to say, so I just said sorry, almost three times, I think. But then I thought you were the one who shunned me. So I wasn't supposed to be afraid of you, I guess. So what was it that you meant? And why am I still afraid, so much, as I am indeed? I guess you always made me scared because I knew I was out of line all the time irritating you. It's all so stupid and hedious what I did just thinking that you would protect yourself better (because your sister/friend told me of how you wouldn't until it's been too much time) and be more firm in limiting access to you with all people (as I saw you having problems with aggressive gals), trying to make you stronger and happier and free, while exaggerating (and then unfortunately unwillingly falling for you) and all I did was traumatized you and me, though you're probably really happier, more sure of yourself and drawing the limits and more free. And that's good, in the end. But not the trauma of course. I'm really sorry. That's all. Wishing you well as always, you know that I love you and always wish you the best.