Dear Fred

 I love you, is it okay? Can I choose you and just say? Hoping for no one to get hurt. Not him nor her. 

I really miss you, Fred. Sometimes I remember how you were so strong and at the same time fragile and confused, how you made me laugh and you laughed all the time of what I was saying and teasing me and that other time we gasped, from laughing so hard even my jaw felt like breaking. 

You wouldn't look at me straight in the eye afterwards. I guess I marked you too, a little, right? Why are we all so foolish when it comes to feeling? Sometimes I just wish everyone could hear exactly what I was saying about how I feel about each one, so that no one would be so upset. And not feel rejected or inferior if one chooses more the other. It's like you were passion red and the other is a nice shade of green. I'm always burning for the reds and not for the greens, but they are my good friends that I love too. They're the calm while the others are the chaos. 

Anyway, Fred, you understand, don't you? I felt protected by you and there's nothing I need most than feeling safe to be with someone for real. You were for me Fred. And I was yours to grab. 

(as to Audrey's - Holly Golightly - brother Fred)