Love should be free.

Snap out of it, girl

 They are all alike and like all of them

He's got man boobs and a shallow fringe

Prone to baldness and belly of a beer keg

Everything you say falls off his ears

And he only talks from the books he repeats

He mocks all girls thinking he's handsome 

Plays the mysterious so to hide he's empty 

My, oh my, what an insecure little man

All shoulders and throat, no truth no spine

You can do much better than him, he knows 

That's why he's always jealous and at war

He even hates you and wishes you dead

Just that you get out of his predictable head

And guess what, no wonder, he wouldn't 

Give you proper head as he should have 

Because he doesn't believe in improving 

He has long surrendered to his insufficiency

And though you thought the world of him

And actually wanted to give him the world 

And saw him as perfect, entirely, as he was 

And even saw past his neglect and excuses 

You should know he would never get it truly 

What you meant by the world and him

Specially you who never wanted to be queen

To be going to rule anyone or anything 

 I just wanted to feel your loving arms around me. 

 love inside the blood, bleeding away.

 If you truly love someone and that person goes away, I know the love does still remain, unless it gets destroyed by repeated deception and disappointment.

A bit of the current grasshopping on existencial anguish

 I was just thinking "imagine what we'll know 100 years from now...", after I saw something about how scientists discovered that foetus dream in the womb, much more than in any other stage of life, it seems. I'm guessing they recorded the brain waves activity in the REM with those higher frequency ranges of Alpa and Gamma, or whatever, but they don't know what exactly are they dreaming of, in any imagery at all, since they are not supposed to have any memories still. Even if they're recording the memories of sound and what they are experiencing inside the womb, they're just processing those things and they are thus establishing the neural network. Of course, being more inclined to spiritual matters on that page that I saw the post, they were talking of how the foetuses must be having the memories of they're earlier lives in they're dreams. I remembered of the documentary about the brain that also does show that almost 70% of the children studied about past lives do in fact remember things that were proven. 

Meanwhile I saw a start of a romcom asking things like "does love really come on time?". And after all that I saw another post saying that an expert on climate change says ( that you should do all you love now) we got only 20 years before it goes all to hell for good on Earth, on account of major oil and energy companies like Shell. Also earlier I've seen how the places that have bases data centers have registered up to 16 degrees Celsius of increase on local temperatures. 

Struggling

 I've been struggling a bit, confused, between all the chaos and the balance, the light and dark, the good and evil, that I see all around and can't tell what the heck am I doing still alive on this bloody Earth.

The idea of you

 I'm not okay with what I did to you 

And also with what you did to me 

I know we were both suspicious 

Because of our whole life experience 

That never told us otherwise 

For to ever trust without distance 

Is the riskiest gamble one makes

Whenever we're falling in love 

I know now it's something above

And it's worth the fight 

Against the ideas of ourselves 

Preconceived about one another 

Please help me because I cried

So much, my love, I didn't disguise 

It was the part that we said goodbye 

You more, you all the time

So were you at all ever mine? 

Trap

All my life 

Fell into traps

Like a wounded animal 

Always going away

Just to meet another 

In whom I'd trust again 

Open chest heart exposed 

Legs and arms intertwined 

But the mind knows 

It recognises the same movie 

Unravelling step by step 

He said I'm easy

I should've asked 

Easy like Sunday morning? 

As I fallen into another trap

I've always still have been just "tenderness in the void". Camus ain't got nothing on me.