Sometimes we got to sacrifice ourselves for the people we love, and sometimes that turns into always.

I hold everything inside

 I hold light and dark inside 

And this love and hate so tight 

I balance and juggle it all

I tend to struggle and fall

Sometimes I break apart 

I guess it's normal when you're tall

But not when you're like me

So short and small

He was never real

 I depended on him to stay alive 

Everyday with his singing

I waited like a junkie with withdrawal 

Just to see and hear him again

My air when I was suffocating 

My heart pump when I was flatline

He was indeed then the love of my life 

But I was wrong and deluded 

To think that it was all real

He wasn't there for me at all

He was just doing his usual deal

Playing to everyone and having fun

Had I known right in the beginning 

And I wouldn't have made him my sun

 I have loved you like the sky 

Infinitely 

Even when I discovered 

That you don't believe 

in infinity 

 Principles are just writings on the wall, decorating a life that is gone; someone who has no home, no law, no hope on the horizon. Would it be nice that everyone knew, once in their lives, what it is to feel unconditional love and feel loved by someone who is irreplaceable? 

I really can't say/don't know if it would! ...

 There's no such thing as romantic love in this post-modern era, just in old movies.

(and that's why I love oldies and now been watching 1930's on b&w ones)

 You are the flowers of evil spawn by the worst things in the world and all the deeds of pure destruction that you've been inflicting on/for the entirety of my wretched existence should burn you inside out till you're just ashes blown by the wind. 

 One can choose to focus the eyes on the dark or in the light, but with way you turn blind. 

 I asked him if he would still love me old and grey. He answered: I will love you any way.

(old writing was with "she", but I remember I asked him back in those years, so.)

Loves

 It's over now, I don't even love their prototypes.