I'm a fool to want you - Frank Sinatra

 I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to want you
To want a love that can't be true
A love that's there for others too

I'm a fool to hold you
Such a fool to hold you
To seek a kiss not mine alone
To share a kiss the devil has known

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I had to say

I'm a fool to want you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I'd have to say

Take me back I love you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

(playing on the radio now. one of the ultimate heartbreak songs {I imagine it was from the Ava Gardner era too} 💔)

The halogen street lights

 I'm joining Daniel Knox 

In a kind of manifesto 

For the continuation 

Of the streets lights 

Of halogen 

I was supposed to do a poem 

But this is not

It's like a prayer now

 Please rid the world of perverted people 

Make them all go far away for good

They can just screw themselves over

And leave the rest of us be at ease

Because we really need all this to end

You

 You're evil, you're smug, snobbish; thinking that you are better than everyone else. All the rest is just a masquerade that you were forced into, first by others, afterwards by yourself. Because god forbid that you're yourself truly, god forbid that you disappoint everyone and no one likes you anymore or wants anything to do with you. You only use people. God forbid that you stop playing your part, your role, the only thing you know how to. God, what the fck are you and have been all these years? What a fckng psychopath that can't stop even for a minute to think of the hideous things you've done and thought, because you would have to off yourself. You're a pathetic creature. Your perversions will have an end. 

 Getting to know a person is overrated; people give signs of who they are. 

I wish I had known you

 To truly know you, would it be so different 

from everything I thought I knew?

Surely, as I have after discovered it too.

But I wish I had truly known you 

In details as apparently useless as:

in what tooth you pass your tongue 

in what language do you pass your tooth

isn't it funny that I never knew 

unless for what you said on a view:

how you might want a kid

and how you love falafel (I like kofta)

and how you would never move

because you love your family 

and your friends and life there

and nowhere else you'll find that 

and how you prefer stronger women 

and shorter haired and waxed

(I'm neither of that)

thankfully this is not a love poem

the first since I decided to stop them

But you're the one who 

On the contrary to all others 

Knows my decisions are not to be trusted

(And you're still a ghost always present)

Dear reader (if there's any)

 Dear reader, 

from now on I think I will refrain from writing stupid little love poems. I've written too many already. They're all here around for you to see. I know people like to see stuff about love, but frankly I am quite tired of it all. 

So, if there are people that actually read them here (or from my Portuguese blog where there are thousands) you can always tell me and if you actually like them (or think you would like me to continue writing for you this type of things here) I can eventually rethink my position. 😄

Yours, always truly,

S. 

He's my man, yes.

 I know who my man is. I guess I must have always known deep inside, that's why I struggled so painfully and took those two years to admit it all. 😐

 Do you know how much have I always loved you? 

Yeah, you're right, it doesn't matter. After all, it's only important when one cares to know. But if there is even just a tiny part of you who cares to know, you should know it has always been truly love without measure. "Yeah, it's true, I was made for you", as the story said. 

 I'd give everything to have you back. But I don't have anything, do I?