Being the one that has to suffer so that everyone can be happy, sucks.

Eclipse

 So it seems I used to be everyone's sun

Then I met the moon

It came and made me undone

Smothered my shine

Made feel I didn't belong 

Not there nor to anyone 

I don't know if there's a cure

If we can both become each other

But for all the years we're done

I can't tell if it's me anymore 

Or if we're together as one

Probably because we're lost

In this big chaotic cosmos 

And just turned into an eclipse 

The many and more that you've hurt

 You're crass

No one knows how you are

How you got no spine

How you're just cynical inside

And uptight and not upright 

Pretending to be caring

And just concerned with appearances 

It gets to be quite malicious 

Your psychopathic schizophrenia 

And how you were attracted 

To your sister while she was a guy

You wrote in a book to disguise 

Or you mentioned a film to confess

"cause it's part of your game nonetheless 

It's all so you feel good inside

Tell and repeat you're a good guy

But newsflash buster: you're not

And you're just convinced you're hot

It's just pathetic to see it in your face

The many and more that you've hurt

I hope one day you're aware 

Of how you've been a disgrace 

 I've never told anyone how badly you hurt me, so instead I just made art.

It's all so painful

 For me you used to be life 

In a time I had lost everything 

Everyone I most loved was gone

Everyday more people were dying 

And you became my light in darkness 

You became my tenderness and care

You were all that now I would dare

Amd I'm so sorry I didn't honour that 

I didn't keep us safe in a better way

I didn't put all my effort to save us

From any risks, perils and menaces

I'm still sick, for my things and you

Though I feel less intensively harm

I still can feel your despise for me 

It's in your cynical and fake tone

It's on every pore of yours on its own

Amd I know I am still your home

As the one you made for me

Don't worry, love, it's as you sang

Destiny 

though now I'm quite misandric

 Today I recalled how I've put myself literally in front of boys (boyfriends, soul brother, brother, friend) in order to defend or protect them from violence, whether it was a burglar case or any other violent threat even with weapons involved. I was thinking if the person I am today would continue to do that for them. Probably would but just as I would for other people, instinctively, in an attempt to apease the mood. 

 You were the prettiest thing.

Wine (I'm more into Sauternes now)

 It was wine 

The lilac wine

It is wine

And one day we'll be deservingly (and much due) drinking it

(in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn)

I'm the biggest badass of all times (BBOAT :D)

 You gotta be one hard ass motherfckr to face yourself, your feelings, your actions and reactions, be courageous enough to be sensitive and vulnerable and open, spread your arms wide open and give your chest to the bullets of every fckng asshole that isn't brave like that. 

Romance

 I exist in him

My whole heart

Beating

Waiting for him to arrive 

And tell me everything 

Or nothing at all

And just kiss me

I'm always here 

Missing him

Hoping my wish 

For us to become 

Together forever 

Is granted by a star

That knows where we are