Thursday, 28 May 2020


The numbers pile up as the collective conscience is numbed;
The vultures come flying around as the countless holes on the ground;
One day it will all be forgotten as were the many human wars between Men or against something of the Other... But right now, millions of people, like you and I, have to mourn the friends, family and human fellows that sudden and increasingly have been falling, while at the same time be grateful for the ones who are still alive and well. 

This is what we humans do our whole lives: mourn and celebrate, and in between count the wins and losses to make sure that we've experienced it all fully till we could.

Saturday, 16 May 2020

I'm tired, boss

john coffey in green mile, "i'm tired boss".

No one tells you that caring is good but exposes you to the mean faces of this world, that will only manipulate and exploit you and suck you dry because they are just hollow bodies with empty souls. We who were born and raised in the wrong side of peace, we never get to really live, only survive despite it.
Dearest you, who unfortunately didn't exist but were supposed to stand on my side all my life protecting me and breaking my falls: I'm tired of having to be strong every single day without a day off because I'm darker and in this world dark is bad and dirty and white is good and pure; I'm tired of having to be strong everyday because I'm female and live under the ubiquitous menace of the violent mankind; ... just because I had to be better than everyone else at school and all just to have a chance of not being put aside for the colour of my skin and for being poor; living in modern ghettos with the modern slaves, being seen like less worthy of living, just because of being in a materialistic shallow world, I'm tired boss. And even knowing that me having been strong everytime allowed next generations to not have to be so strong all the time, and even be fragile and relaxed and free and joyful, doesn't really give me hope anymore as I face the fact that they too have became shallow and careless and mean.

Friday, 1 May 2020

Only a vast array of experiences, lived and not lived, but all thought and analysed, can generate true wisdom and put the "memory palace" in order.
Larger than the sky, did anyone made you feel enough as they were enough for you? If so, you probably beat the odds. Maybe one day, before the unavoidable long night, I'll get to feel it too.
Each feeling doesn't exist on its own; it's just the sum of many others, including the opposites. 
Nowadays the only time the window is opened is to hear the thousands of birds singing ever so clearly through the void of the night, filling my heart with gratitude for their existence. 
The moon visited tonight as a remembrance of yesterdays that had their time. 
The cold air of crystal dawns... it brings everything back as a slow motion ocean wave returning the long forgotten familiar feeling of a sweet embrace. 

For "we shall not falter" even though we are tired.
 The birds are chirping loudly, the dogs are barking too, there was a couple of deers on the parking lot and the blackbirds are always visiting too. Outside the world is still wild at heart and waiting for its chance to thrive. Inside the world is pointless and nothing you can do will make it rise.
If I could have a healed heart in a healed world, at the sound of Alice's harp, after all the freezing cold, would I not see Spring again without being a foe, would I not be high instead of low? 
How many lives and deaths fit in a lifetime? 
Art has answered that question and it saves and makes reborn everyday the love and beauty that's inside of you. For you are the Phoenix in life's labyrinth and you shall rise whenever you fall.
 It's hard to reach your skin now, for a thousand years I crawled like a snake in the desert to touch it, to be able to feel its life pulsating through the veins, to hear the drum roll of the ocean against it. 
But no one told me that the long road was never-ending and no one told me that it doesn't really do.