The loving feeling

 It comes in sweet caresses
that loving feeling
and tenderness and warmth
I miss it again like it was never there
the beautiful belonging in the hug
the completeness of the proximity
something that's enough
something that's everything
something that's the only truth.

 I'm the dying, condemned one; with no future or present or past, just woes and aches that accumulate till the final rest. 

Did I live or saw too much?

 I think I lived too much also through watching and observing others, and just absorbing everything. 

All the outcomes, all the endings and beginnings, all the in-betweens.

Everything seen and done, like all the thousands of movies that I watched before.

So don't worry, you'll be fine. Whatever you do. You''ll be just fine baby girl. Just enjoy your life for the while and don't worry about it too much, unless for what you need to become each day: better than you were the day before, more conscious, more resolved, no more going out there breaking people's hearts for fun you little teaser Th. ;)

May as Well - Angel Olsen

 It may as well have been forgotten

Or did it simply slip your mind?
Is that my heart that's splitting open?
I guess it just fell to the side

I've tried my best to keep you smiling love
Maybe it's been all in vain
But I would try a million times my dear
Tell me would you do the same?
One could say it's complicated love
Like nothing they've seen before
Or simply that it is a thought we share
Forever it must be ignored

If you really love me there's no way to tell
I'm always arriving when you say farewell
In all of my dreams we are husband and wife
I'll never forget you all of my life

I'll never forget you all of my life
I'll never forget you all of my life

Are you even aware of how much I miss you?

In your arms

 In those arms of yours there's the fine matter
from which is carved comfort
that thin mist of caress
that warms in the middle of loneliness

In these arms of mine I have peace
where you can rest from the tiredness
that lasso that weighs in your body and soul
when you can't go slow.

 I wonder if our therapists tell us the same...

And we go out there and do it all again...

How do you forgive yourself for being an idiotic fool?

You go to the root of the happening.
You think of what factors may have led to its realization. 
You acknowledge that none of them were in your control, even if they could have been in other circumstances.
And you realize you don't have anything to forgive yourself about, because you have done nothing willingly. 

Note: Make sure you bring to consciousness that it wasn't really your will for anything to happen or to do anything as it went. 

To Love is simple (?)

  

When you love someone, you just do,
give your feeling to the person
make sure she feels it everyday
care for her and make sure she is okay

When you love someone, it's simple,
but maybe that person won't let us know
that we're loved and cared for 
or maybe as she doesn't want your love
it might become intrusive for her

Or even if one gets too much attached
or needy, or even just possessive,
then everything goes sour
and Love isn't simple no more...

 And you can't even care about me ...

That's All I Ask - Jeff Buckley

 Don't try to blow out the sun for me, baby

I'm not hopin' for what I know can't be

All that I ask is for your smile each day

Nothing in this world would be too good for you

I'll give you love that will never go away

Yes, I will

Yes, I will

Because, girl, I wouldn't ask you to lift up this great big world, little baby
I know you're not that kind of a girl
Never mind now with your heart, how much is old?
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody,
Nobody, nobody, knows

How deep my love for you really goes
Yes, girl, I want you to know

I wouldn't ask you to hold back the dawn light of dawn
Baby, that's just a little too much to ask of anyone

Each day you are the only one and everything that matters to me

 Yes, every day you sleep in my dream
and you wake up in my smile
And I love you not for the moment
not even just for a while
I'm in love with you for the ride
Ten thousand mile of an infinite path
Each day we're in each other's mind

You're the only thing that makes sense
you're everything to me
you're the star and I'm the moon
you're the sea and I'm the mermaid

I only feel what comes from you
otherwise I don't feel nothing at all
because you're the only thing that exists.

Everyone says the sun and the moon can't be together....

But aren't they in the same sky? 

Garden of Trust

 Flowers and animals everywhere
jumping around happy as can be
I have not seen any bees though
but I'm sure they're somewhere 

Trees and greenery all over
remembering the green in your eyes
thankfully no snakes around
but I'm sure they're lurking

Creeks and puddles now and then
splashing the vegetation and beings
looking up to the sky it's clear
but I'm sure clouds will amount. 

 Now that time is running out
I'm sure I did everything for everyone I could
and said everything I should have
and I hope you too know even what I failed to say
exactly as in your way.

Don't forget: I've always loved you forever.

 Can you believe that I miss telling you that I love you?
(me, who used to not say that so easily and frequently to anyone...)

heheh

Goddamn it I love you so much, my dear everyday beloved

Belonging

 How can I feel that I belong entirely to someone who apparently doesn't exist?

Is the need to belong so deeply rooted and strong in me that I've fallen in this illusion construct? 

 One can't burn forever,
I'm burning out...


(adrenals burning)

Deep and Wide

 Do you know how much I love you
my little darling
my beloved one?

It is as deep as the cut of the samurai's seppuku 
and as wide as the expansion of the universe.