there's always more to stories than what they're told

Awful

 You were so awful to me and to almost every woman. You destroyed much of my life. You're a devil in disguise. And as you smile to every other gal, I'm pitiful of them if they'll be your next targets to use and discard. 

You are rotten and psychopathic, you play with people's feelings, manipulate everyone, making yourself the victim, because "women are the crazy ones", and you make it in a way the even get to joke about them with others. You slander our names telling everyone we're to blame. I was warned by one of your best gal friends, out of the blue, didn't understand why then. I was just another unsuspicious fool that went down that same yours old sewer drain. 

Real Love

Only truth and vulnerability will lead you to real love.

Guilt

 "Guilt will destroy you" and it has been. Can't wait to die to get rid of everything they made me and also the guilt I feel, especially for having let been led to madness by another person.

 Someone nice

 Someone sweet 

Someone that feels like paradise 

Someone neat

 When you went through your whole life without having support and basic help on the worst moments, you really stop caring about everything. No one matters anymore, because everyone just went away after hurting you and never even apologized and tried to mend. 

 We always think there will be time. Till one day there isn't.

To let people be free

 If you love someone you set them free and that is what I always tried to do. 

I cannot have a pet because I love all animals and I don't want to have them locked up. I don't like zoos. Not of people nor of other animals. 

No one really loves anyone, they only fulfill their needs. I loved people so much that all I wanted was for them to be themselves, free and happy. I know not everyone likes to be free also, because if their conditioning, though. 

Even so, I always wanted people to be themselves and I never could have enough of an ego to think of myself first in what I needed. I guess that's why I have always been alone in the end. And that's perfectly okay. 

 Your absence makes me sad

Your absence made me mad

My presence was so bad?

My last words to you

 I'm truly sorry for all the hurt that I caused you, for not having listened to you and not having been able to stop and not bother you anymore. 

I was so sick. I'm sorry. I've always cared for you and wished you well. I was so happy for you. You were the one I loved the most.

(And I'm really sorry that we never met and that he came first and instantaneously got infatuated with me and wanting to kiss me. I still can't wrap my head around everything l, it's all very crazy to me. Especially when I have been alone and isolated for years. I never wanted anything like this to happen. How it all became so much more messy for me. I just wanted simply that her wish had come true and that we had our beautiful ceremony on the gurus woods)