Can't you see you're the love of my life?

Pure love existed

 Nothing has been worth it in this life. But I did have the bliss of feeling pure love, for a few people and little ones. And though love when far makes the heart ache, I couldn't ever feel it fading completely. It's kind of dangerous to feel that if you are with someone often we might fall in love all over again, with that combination of joy and the remembrance, body that remembers too. 

I would give everything to be yours forever, because this kind of love and passion we only find once, though it can be violent and difficult to get to the admission of it being everything you want and need. I learned with you what love is for real. "You'll have to be the one to leave, because I cannot ever leave you", he said to her and my heart started to shatter and cry. 

One of the saddest things in life is when you can't be with the persons you love.

How do we save meaningfulness now?

 We've turned everything that was important into a banality. 

Maybe I'm also just in this cursed neverending spiral of the eternal return.

Now it might be to late for people to attribute real meaning and restore the importance of all those lost things. Mainly because they lost the ability to feel. 

Everything is just stats and routine. 

PS: don't take a picture. just register in your mind.

no one knows but all the point was made

 Before, I used to dominate sarcasm and I would use it in extreme situations to make a radical change in people. I wanted them to get there by themselves. To be aware and stronger. So, for instance, once, I played a part to show awful things ppl do, almost died🤦🏽it destroyed me a lot. I imitated all the others as they gossiped and judged. Just aligned with all the toxic mentality group patterns. I was trying to be pernicious and aggressive as others were, just doing the same, mimicking, playing along, showing it, trying to exaggerate so that they would see the awfulness it was and start waking up to how things should be and not allow any more abusive behaviour. The process that people go through unconsciously in order to get to a kinder, more decent and aware is quite complex, but one must persist in perforating that first layer and go deeper. To show human nature and be a mirror, one must be very good and then very bad, so that people actually notice. Like that teacher used to tell us in a class that you have to exaggerate to pass the message, for it to get noticed. God, how I always disliked all that. All so stupid in this world. I just hate all conventions and rules and marketing and patterns. I hated every minute that I had to be someone obnoxious. I was so conflicted because, as always, I was so aware of me doing the whole sarcasm act so that people will recognise it in their lives and wake up once and for all. I had to risk my own life to do all that, just because I wanted everyone to be kinder and more decent human beings and stop being fake. That whole thing was just an automatic reaction, didn't think much unless while and after doing it. Who would've known that playing the devil's part as in those psychology classes I couldn't would now be my big reaction to that whole awful moment in time? 

Though I almost died, I am glad I survived to learn to not ever do it again, stop with the ironies and sarcasm, because I am sick of all and people must learn for themselves, by themselves, to do whatever they should for themselves and others. 

The best thing was that in 2025, after more than one year of the end of therapy and the sequence of ten news of family deaths, I had learned so much about me and who I was no longer and who I've always been truthfully.

I was supposed to die way back then, but as I didn't I had the chance to see how I was so wrong in everything and regarding everyone. People are all weird and they should be left alone with their own questions.

I wish I had never been born in this world

 All my life I waited for things to get better and for me to finally be able to have conditions to live a good fulfilling life. But as time passes and I'm still alive, I just keep getting this feeling of not wanting to ever have been alive in this planet. It's so full of horrid stuff, not to mention my daily hell that I have to manage exhausted. I wish I could erase the times that were so awful and also the ones I did mistakes that I should've been able to stop myself from doing them. Like loving the people I loved all these years. And especially the one of everyday. Even knowing that he didn't exist, I wish he had been the one who immediately wanted to kiss me, just like in that dream. 

I guess, illusions saved me because they made me daydream that there could be a moment of finally having my chance of getting rid of this daily hell. 

Not having help from anyone, not having conditions to sleep, eat and live and do what I want, is excruciating everyday at some point of the day. It becomes frequently unbearable. 

And this whole in my heart, because of everyone I loved so much and they didn't love me, they never will... I thought they really were who they were supposed to be, my friends, my family, but in truth they never were, they were just careless, dismissive, selfish, self-centred, greedy people. And I shouldn't suffer for people who are shitty and abandoned me, like them. So I'm really glad nowadays, because I don't want to be even in those people's mind anymore; After all, I don't need to be important to shitty people. 😄

 I'm also consequence of an utter tenderness.

Loch of the heart

 There was nothing 

nor anyone 

like him

and the strength 

of the explosion 

of our love

from so far away

but in the loch

of our hearts

wide water

of a deep dark

 If the sun and the moon were people, I think they’d spend their whole lives trying to cross the sky just to see each other.

Senza fine

 There is an unique kind of love that due to its immensity is infinite. One love. The biggest of all. And you can feel it in the sky and everywhere around when it irradiates. Our hearts burst into bliss and tap into that strength and absolutely certainty and the faith that it has always been there. I love you. And I want you around forever. Even if for now it's just a streak in the sky. My one and only, forever. I keep on longing for one completely perfect day. Let it be. 💓

8M

 Besides all the violence and lack of support, the injustice is infuriating. Exhausted of being a baby-sitter for supposed grownups all my life. I just disappear and never come back to this world again.