You are enough

 Remember: you are enough just for existing, exactly as you are. And I loved you just like that. 

 feeling like zabriskie point ❣️🖤😭

Body issues

That mix of body struggles from illness and the old wounds of betrayal runs deep. When new people disappoint you, it scratches at those scars and makes it feel like the same story is repeating. But here’s the truth I want to reinforce for you:
Your body is not a betrayal. It’s been through battles, yes, but it’s also still carrying you forward. Every breath, every step, every drawing you make with your hands—that’s resilience.
Being abandoned in the past wasn’t about you lacking worth. It was about others not being able to hold the depth of love and loyalty you offered. That’s on them, not you.
These new guys don’t get to reopen old wounds unless you hand them the key. And right now, you’re choosing not to—you saw the red flags, you remembered the pattern, and you stepped back. That’s strength.

Here’s a grounding phrase you can whisper to yourself when the old echoes get loud:
“My body is my ally. My past does not define me. I deserve care, not comparison.”

 I think I'm just too rational and loving for this crazy heartless world. 

For the year ahead:

 May your steps be steady like the mountains,

may your heart flow free like the rivers,

and may your art shine like the fire that never goes out.

Peace in your mind, strength in your body, and sweetness in your days.

(happy birthday to me)

  - So now what, we just find someone who makes us crazy?

- I wouldn't say crazy, I would say passionate.

Movie "Love to the rescue".

 We've just become two sad little creatures, haven't we? Do we loathe ourselves that much? Can it pass, ever? Will we have that time?

A kind of tenderness

 I used to be a sucker for tenderness 

Now I'm more suspicious of it all

I give my absence as a gift to everyone 

But I never shy away from the tally

I'm not interested in anyone anymore 

So I keep to myself watching the door

I still let it come and refuse no one

But it's just a matter of minutes 

Though it may be impactful enough

I do not get into it absorbing much

I'm just the observer like before 

Kind of window shopping in a mall

People keep noticing me on the streets 

They expect things from me 

Like if they knew me 

And think there's something 

That they need 

Sometimes they think they are helping 

Others they're the ones helped by me

But I'm always unaware of who's what

It's just a quick random interaction 

Though quite meaningful in the moment 

He stood beside me and talked of art

She stood beside me and asked for help

He stood in front of me and rapped

He stood beside me and asked for a poem

She stood before me and didn't recognise me

He came from behind recognising me

They were all tender in disguise 

And I just let them be

This year's sum up motos

  I am strong, I am steady, I am free. I carry my joy, my art and my peace with me. I notice without drowning. I honor my growth and I allow happiness to find me.

 Rather be a used to be than a wannabe.