I'm a fool to want you - Frank Sinatra

 I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to want you
To want a love that can't be true
A love that's there for others too

I'm a fool to hold you
Such a fool to hold you
To seek a kiss not mine alone
To share a kiss the devil has known

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I had to say

I'm a fool to want you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

Time and time again I said I'd leave you
Time and time again I went away
But then would come the time when I would need you
And once again these words I'd have to say

Take me back I love you
Pitty me I need you
I know it's wrong it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
Without you

(playing on the radio now. one of the ultimate heartbreak songs {I imagine it was from the Ava Gardner era too} 💔)

True Love will find you in the end - Daniel Johnston

 True love will find you in the end

You'll find out just who was your friend

Don't be sad, I know you will

But don't give up until

True love will find you in the end

This is a promise with a catch

Only if you're looking can it find you

'Cause true love is searching too

But how can it recognize you

If you don't step out into the light, the light

Don't be sad I know you will

Don't give up until

True love will find you in the end

 "I fell for you like a child, oh but the fire went wild" 😐 

(ring of fire - Carter and Cash)

I'm a fool to want you

 Tell me it's not me you seek deep inside everyday 

Tell me it isn't me who you would like it to stay 

I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to remember you

Every night and day

I'm a fool to love you

Even after all that happened yesterday 

My heart stumped upon 

So bruised, shattered and torn

Even since the start I knew it was wrong 

But 4 years have past and I can't get along

Because I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to need you

Even when I think it all went away

It comes triggered with any song I play 

Snd I'm an eternal fool for an inexistent you

(after movie Just one kiss and revisiting Sinatra's I'm a fool to want you)

Easy to Love

 Are you easy to love, dear?

Does your head bow to his will

And do you wait for him by the window sill

To wave goodbye when he leaves you

And when he returns just to eat you

Because there's really nothing more 

For you two of truth between you?

Can you live your life without her?

Yes, I know you can but you like her

So you think you make efforts 

Just to be with her sometimes 

You think it feels like paradise 

Even if it's hard it's always nice

To have your peaceful love time

One day out of the blue you finally realise 

All you did and all you thought 

Wasn't almost anything at all

Of what you always got 

Not from you and not from him

Nothing was quite what it seemed 

It was just a hope that ran dry 

The addiction to sad songs

There’s actually some research that suggests when we become "addicted" to a song, especially a sad one, it’s because of how our brains process emotions and seek patterns. When we listen to a song repeatedly, our brain can release dopamine, a "feel-good" neurotransmitter. Even though the song might be sad, it can trigger a sense of comfort or familiarity, which is why we crave listening to it again.

In terms of emotional processing, listening to a sad song can help us process feelings we may not be consciously addressing. Our brain may use the song as a way to work through unresolved emotions, especially if we associate the song with a meaningful moment or experience. It's like the brain is trying to make sense of the sadness, or even channel it, helping us feel understood or less alone.

Masters of War - Bob Dylan

 Come you masters of war
You that build the big guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks
You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly
Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain
You fasten all the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you sit back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
While the young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud
You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins
How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do
Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good?
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could?
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul
And I hope that you die
And your death will come soon
I'll follow your casket
By the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand over your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead

I guess I died too many times

 I guess I died too many times 

for you to notice 

and everytime I survived 

I never showed this

You told "but you're always dying"

as it didn't matter at all to you

and I got shocked, quit trying 

to make you hold me

I don't want you in my life 

You were never paradise

You were just one of the worsts 

I've encountered along the course

But now I'm through 

I've done my due

You're not worth it 

Entirely

 I cannot give you up

I cannot let you go

'cause you're life itself

Water, air, fire and earth 

You're everything to me

And you own all my heart

With you stuck & free

Hunter & prey

Why the heavens made this be

You and I linked in a body 

That doesn't exist

You don't

 You don't speak to me
You don't see me
You don't listen to me
You don't say you miss me
You don't hear me 
You don't do anything for me
You don't love me
Do you?

What happens in me

 What happens in me when I hear you
Your voice going deep inside 
Like thunder or just embracing me
Like bathing with small raindrops
While floating on the calm ocean

What happens in me when I see you
Your looks so tender and mild
Once suffering but now not at all
And not mine
I grieve slowly and increasingly

What happens in me when you're gone
Your absence dives me in a pit of sadness
My heart skips a beat and malfunctions
The depressed air fills my lungs deeply
And there's no way out of this woe.

 

Wishing

 I wish Music spoke louder than everything
And Silence too
I wish the Wind blew softer 
And the Sun harder

...

How am I supposed to live without you

 How am I supposed to live without you
When all that comes to mind is you
And your needs and your wishes 
And your happiness and your love
And your joy and your success
And everything means nothing or less?

The man I'm in love with

 I'm in love with an unmade bed of a man, 
that I'm not even sure that he exists
though I know he is out there far away
in this strange world of turns and twists

He's a man that still has got a child inside
As pure as snow and his skin so white

I'm in love with a ragged hair of a man,
his face so naive and his cleft chin
delighted by his plump cherry lips
I bet they're even sexier when he sips 

He's the man that I absolutely adore
But I know he isn't just one for sure

Everybody Dies

 What would people do
If the exact date of dying they knew?

'cause everybody dies
so when will I?

I hope you will be fine
after I'm gone

I know it won't be long
I just wanted to hear your song
Hear your heartbeat close to mine
Feel the warmth of you when I must say goodbye

Everybody dies
Yes, they are all gone
Almost everyone
And still that old song
I can hear it play sometimes
Once in a while
I even hear it twice
But you're never there
You're so far away
So close to me inside
Always on my mind

What shall we do now
That everything is lost? 

Sweet Swing

Everyday I miss you,
I even imagined we were swinging
listening to some old song on the radio
going two steps right, two steps left, 
slowly in a nice imperfect swing,
I'd probably be on your feet.

Yes, listening to songs together,
how nice that would be,
instead of you there and me here.

Everyday I miss you,
me here alone, you there on your own,
not that we don't enjoy our solitude,
but closer as we are always together anyway
would be such a nice sweet swing.

Slow down, rest, stop.

 Slow down 
Breathe
You're not the town's clown

Rest 
Forget the test
Let someone else do it instead

Stop 
Make it through
Silence is all that will do.

Why was I born - sung by Frank Sinatra

 Why was I born? Why am I livin'?

What do I get? What am I givin'?
Why do I want a thing I daren't hope for?
What can I hope for? I wish I knew

Why do I try to draw you near me?
Why do I do I cry? You never hear me
I'm a poor fool, but what can I do?
Why was I born to love you?

I'm a poor fool, but what can I do?
Why was I born to love you?

May as Well - Angel Olsen

 It may as well have been forgotten

Or did it simply slip your mind?
Is that my heart that's splitting open?
I guess it just fell to the side

I've tried my best to keep you smiling love
Maybe it's been all in vain
But I would try a million times my dear
Tell me would you do the same?
One could say it's complicated love
Like nothing they've seen before
Or simply that it is a thought we share
Forever it must be ignored

If you really love me there's no way to tell
I'm always arriving when you say farewell
In all of my dreams we are husband and wife
I'll never forget you all of my life

I'll never forget you all of my life
I'll never forget you all of my life

She's Like The Wind - Patrick Swayze

She's like the wind,
Through my tree
She rides the night
Next to me

She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done

Feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league

Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

I look in the mirror
And all I see
Is a young old man
With only a dream
Am I just fooling myself
That she'll stop the pain?
Living without her
I'd go insane!

I feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league

Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

I feel your breath in my face
Your body close to me
Can't look in your eyes
You're out of my league

Just a fool to believe (Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind

(Just a fool to believe) Just a fool to believe
(She's like the wind)

(...)