fucking hell

 yeah, I know it's stupid to go back to idiotic questions, all in vain, but why the hell this had to happen? I mean, c'mon, I am old, sick and we were always bickering with each other, until he hated me and couldn't stand me anymore and blocked me, so why the heck this all had to happen? what was all that love and my love that never ends? I mean, I had nothing but pain here and then I had a little glimpse of something like love and then I was left to die again. So why the hell this doesn't end in me? I don't want or need any of this increasing shit in my already fucked up life.