Love

 Do you still believe in a love that lasts forever? "Yes", I remember you answering this question, talking about family love and how love is a construction and before you said you didn't believe in soulmates that would be people who are perfect for each other in every detail, physically and mentally. 

You believed in ours? Ever? Because it was an abstract thing? Yes, me too. Not being something materialized but only remaining in the realms of feelings and ideas. 

Are we all just a thought away from each other? How does everyone know when you're thinking of that someone if no one tells it anymore? 

I realised, hearing a psychologist, that my limitative beliefs make me stuck on my spiral of fear, anxiety, guilty, all because of my fear of commitment, the vulnerability and fear of the physical symptoms that I get from my blood and hormones illnesses, plus all the layers of relationships with their emotional responsibilities.

Just love isn't enough for men, as they always seem to have to act on it and me appearing frail they always inflate their egos with the hero complex.

So, once again we reach to all the same conclusions about love being only a mix of chemical, physical and pre-programmed conditioning of ours. Nothing new to see here. 

(and, of course, I'm still hung up on you)