emptying the wreckage, carrying the light amidst darkness and seeking more gentleness in me

 I don't ask for love, I search for signs of it everywhere ❤️

  I wish someone will say something like "borini" (I would rather die than see you buried) to me one day, again. 

You always, my beloved sea

 It will always be you. 

In every word

In every song

In everything I do

There's only you

Dreams

 Dreams are just illusions we grab on to so we can have hope. But when they're nightmares it's like you got on your neck a tight rope.

Galaxies

 When two galaxies merge their planets and stars eventually crash. 

 Me when I starting seeing that I might get interested in someone: please, god, don't let me ever fall in love again!!!

Guys

 Funny how most guys just wish they were badass motherfuckers and so they watch series and stuff they portray such characters, though they themselves are just little sheep in real life. 

 "God takes care of drunks and fools", so as I'm a romantic fool I'm taken care of.

 13 years for AGI (artificial general intelligence) 💡💥

Crazy about you

 I am crazy about you, I was, I am and I guess I will always be. I try not to see your face anymore, but I crave to see it and when I do I hope somehow I get to have a feeling that we're still each others.

to post on 26th August

 soon it'll be my first birthday without you being alive my uncles, I'm still mourning your departure all these months. you two were my friends and you both coincidentally said, worrying about me, that they have been spoiling my whole life and wondered what was to become of me when I'm older. you always told me I was strong and not to lose hope of getting better one day. since I was a pre-teen I started to wanting to die and you saw why. truth is no one ever did anything to help me save myself from getting even more damaged and sicker. they say it takes a village to raise a child. I wasn't raised, so almost everyday I wish I was never born and that the village had never existed. but you two loved me and I loved you, and we used to phone each other at home and you used to tell me stuff you didn't talk to anyone else. and that was enough for me. I'm sorry your grandchildren can't play with you anymore, I wish I had died instead of you. and today, the same day that my first big love was born, it was your birthday too uncle, and for that reason this day used to not be as sad before. I love you, uncles, and I really been missing you for so long now with this bigger ache for not having been able to have more of your presence for the last years. I'm so sorry that you're gone. But I know that in my case everything will be better when I'm finally gone. And then you two will finally be happy for me too ❤️

(on insta)

#reels #repost #anniversary #rip #missing #macbeth #shakespeare #poet #poetry #mourning #darknessunfolds 

 I hope everyone gets really happy when I die, because I will finally be free from this wretched life!

I miss every detail about you

 I miss your thin blue stripes shirt and the one with the roses, of course, and I miss your coat, and I miss the wrinkles on your nose when you smile and your dimples and your suspicious eyes when you disguise. 

I even miss your ready-made phrases, almost even hearing the more annoying ones too, and when you talk with your so affected rich metropolitan accent. I rather hear when you speak with your countryside one. Most of all I miss your curls, your eyes and when your lips are reddish. Not to speak of your chant and your nice beautiful kind emotions.

The End - November Ultra

 Where should I go?
'Cause I've been everywhere
But I belong nowhere
But in your arms
Give me a sign
My darlin', let me know
If I should let you go
Or if I should fight
There's a place inside my mind
Where you and I can dance
Endlessly you hold on to me
And for the first time in a long time
I'm, I am whole

 10 years of absolute celibacy taught me I need someone to not let me go even when I let go of him.

 Of course I would like someone to choose me as more unique and special than anyone they ever mer, and holding me telling me that can't live and don't want to live without me anymore. But that would only work if I truly belonged to that person, knowing him entirely and trusting him to be honest and truthful and loyal always.

it's his heart that I created

 His heart is an ocean 

though he is the sea

my mind is always in motion 

thinking of him and me

but he is so far away 

he doesn't remember me

he despises me anyway 

so my hope is leaving me