Before I die, you should decide to live

 Before I die, kid, I want you to know that you should decide to live and not give up. I'm not going to tell you this exactly, but something alike, now that I'm trying to tell you how I made my mind stronger to not fall again and again in depression and despair. 

How life gets intricate I know, but I also made myself untie the knots, stubbornly I made it through, I can see it in a much simpler way, everything gets clearer faster nowadays. I guess I exercised my mind so much by doing it that it's now much easier and intuitive. You can do it too. To be intelligent this way is a kind of glory that you will feel if you do appreciate your development. I hope you get to and also have all that perspectives that are so needed in order to "see the whole picture". 

I hope that, truly, one day you will find a poem or any other piece of art or just see something that you find so beautiful, that you say you are glad to have seen this and that it makes living worth it. It's one of the great feelings one can have.