I just wanted someone that I could actually trust, which given my trauma of being betrayed is quite difficult. And someone who I wanted to stay and would want to stay too. I had that almost. But never absolutely. To feel there is no one else completely for us, to know it within and be okay with it, to rest and have happiness even if it becomes a routine to be normally joyful. But then again how can I be joyful with all the darkness? Yep, it is pointless to have hope, isn't? Or could I do something to minimize the darkness especially all around me? 😐🙁😔