living locked up in my room mostly heartbroken and sick, plus still trying not to miss everyone who abandoned me and treated me poorly, sometimes suck a lot, but most of times I see it as an irrefutable fact and that's fckng it. I wish I still had someone I could call best friend. I wish someone would be my home. But as it's all been impossible I'll just have to keep enduring the living daily hell, waiting for some eventful miracle. like watching the sky, being able to breathe, feeling some serenity that I hadn't in so long. I miss it. I miss especially having the feeling, rare, of "ok, this was worthy of being alive for".