The fantasy is gone. The idea of hope. The faith. Reality overcame and the mind and heart, both so bruised and broken, have succumbed to the fact that wishing and imagining a better thing won't be a guarantee that it will become real. 

They say you have to push through, to keep on always dreaming and carry that everyday, without giving up, because it might take decades but it becomes inevitable. That you must focus and enjoy yourself raising your vibrations and capacity to realize it. But people spend years trying and never get there.

When you're living on alert mode all your life trying to resolve serious problems with which you're bombarded with, it becomes impossible to do anything else of what would be better to materialize some good.