Remember: you were everyone's lucky charm

 Remember how you'd go inside an empty store and immediately people would come in?
Remember how everyone talked to you on the street to know things?
Remember how everyone asked you for everything and advice?
Remember how everyone since a child to bigger people would be luckier since they've met you?
All the energy you focused in all the people made them luckier, it has always been like this since you were a kid. So yeah, just forgive yourself for what happened of one time in life with only that one person, already, and try to move on. Please, do it, because it's corroding your inside still. 

(sometimes I wish I could scream really high because it gets unbearable, and I feel like I'm dying even faster, for being despised by him still)