Dear Y., I won't write you anymore here, just this once, no biggie

 I am sorry Y., I really can't forget him still, though I tried, but it's neverending, it always felt like that. Haven't seen his Cheshire cat grin, maybe with the years passing it will cease, who knows, I don't know if he will be able to maintain that child in him forever, the same who frowned and collapsed into an honest cry, or a sudden freight or awe, his astonished light blinded startled eyes, but I've noticed the way he sometimes looks down for a moment like remembering some woe, some deep hurt unspoken, some sweet memory lost. God, how I love him like that! Every detail, but this is another that is more, that moves me so. And makes me miss him more. The only one who existed.