You should know

 You should know that I didn't surround myself of your friends on purpose, it just happened as to so many of other people, to connect through the live streamings and try to have a bit of communion and fun possible amidst the horrors going on in pandemic times, in order to try to survive. The only thing I did do on purpose in the end of those days before you shunned me, was pushing you to it, because I couldn't bear anymore the confusion and hurt you caused me, though I needed you so much.